Down Day

There are times when I waken
to a battle in my head,
armies of thoughts,
demons being led.

Around they march
quickening the pace,
each one striving
to win their own race.

Confusion reigns
as thoughts collide,
start the day down,
with emotions I'll hide.






Poetry by shells
Read 852 times
Written on 2015-07-09 at 00:27

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
this is a wonderful analogy for the demon thoughts which come (especially those first thoughts of the day). It is a battle.

The gentle rhymes add so much to your poem, though "collide" and "hide" are hardly gentle, but powerful, and speak of battle, and a good way to end the poem.
2015-07-19


Nils Teodor The PoetBay support member heart!
I like your poem very much
Thanks for sharing
2015-07-11


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
You are singing my song. I love how you derived the title and how it stands alone so well. Very clever. I try so hard to express my feelings and struggles with my condition. But you have displayed your feelings so well and so effortlessly. Bravo.
2015-07-11


Ivan R
What a powerful poem, hell on the horizon, but powers to come to aid, as the poet takes the struggle with the plume,
The best weapon there is*
2015-07-11



Tight and concise with a propelling rhythm. Makes me think of Emily Dickinson's short poems. Very nice.
2015-07-10


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
When I awake - the feels it's goner be grim
Then on go's the ketale T bag in the mug
Waiter boils - in the mug - sit down mug of T in hand
Shut my eyes - let aroma of the T fill my senses
Open lips - the tast of T washes over me taist buds
Then the demons washed in to my bowls (er the rest I leave to you)
Day now looking good - the power of a GOOD cup of in the morning!
Ken D ;)
2015-07-09