Again, I'm leaving

In all honesty, I cannot sleep.
I remember when last I left;
Devastation and disappointment.
Tears were many and fears were founded

I will find the gall to tell you,
To have enough respect for what love was passed,
To confront my demons and tell you of my planned absence.
I am leaving, but this time is for the better.

In the humble day-to-day,
I struggle to keep awake,
To play those pointless games,
To be a pawn in order to place a check in an emptied box.

My back is burdened with intangible stress.
My mind breaks under the insurmountable pressure of infinite failure.
My breath slows and catching in my throat.
My hands shake and my eyes cannot focus.

Is all this fuss worth it?
I cannot break free of my brain chemistry,
But what I can break free of is the restraint of time that plagues me.
Time, in it's finite eternity, can buy me temporary sanity.

I do not expect you to understand how precious a sound mind can be,
But have mercy upon me; I fear your judgement
I await your inevitable disappointment
Precognition tells me you will not be surprised.

I give in
I do not give up
Life is worth living
My living just needs changing.

I pray you understand.

Poetry by Sarah Parnes
Read 762 times
Written on 2016-10-28 at 06:41

Tags Leaving  Understanding  Mercy 

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Bibek The PoetBay support member heart!
Nicely done!

I can relate to that. Well done.