Falling Again

If you don't say it out loud it's not true right?I didn't think I could feel like this again. I didn't think my heart would take the trouble to fall again, to flirt again. Yet here I am unable to get him off my mind. I really, really want to ping him but I know he doesn't reply in business hours so I'm resisting. I don't get why I play these games with myself. It's silly right? I have one shot left. And I want to waste it on a link of urban dictionary meanings of Indian surnames. I want to spend the whole weekend fucking him. I also wonder if the reality won't live up to the fantasy. That would be sad. I wasn't scared of this with R cos I had had a taste and I was confident. Here I feel either I'm going to be a let down or it will be like a bubble bursting. Sitting here listening to way too much of John Mayer is not helping. I wish he'd ask me out or even just initiated the next conversation but he seems to have gone to sleep on me and I miss him so. Fuck! I haven't even met him.

Diary by Purple Puddles
Read 50 times
Written on 2017-11-02 at 06:59

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