Mind the mind

I feel more equipt to handle this now. This frantic race of thoughts. This countdown that only I can hear. This rush that makes me charge at the unknown. This constant withdrawal from anything that resembles commitment. This agonizing grip in my chest. Yes. I am definitely more equipt because i do not fear talking about it. I used to be scared of acknowledging this, because if i did i would get overwhelmed and an ocean of unkind thoughts would steer me to my death. But ive learned to swim. I think.
I know swimming is not the right solution. It won't get me far. Other people have boats and yachts and helicopters and airplanes; while i have to swim with the sharks.
And occasionally see a beautiful fish.
Which at times i convince myself that it is worth it. That the ones in the planes and yachts and boats cant really know what touching the fish feels like...or what escaping a shark feels like.
At times i feel lucky.....but it doesn't last long.

Poetry by zana
Read 460 times
Written on 2019-11-19 at 16:37

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