I managed to keep this going for six weeks before one of her friends told her....
Goose eggs fifty pence. Having two little ankle bitters
thought better buy one each,
Not remembering how big they are.
One was big enough for scrambled eggs for all of us.
Even before entering our home,
From the yelling and shouting
I knew it was going to be my fault.
Gingerly opening the front door,
The tension inside could be cut with a knife,
Slam went the cupboard door,
Bang went the plates on the counter tops.
Me standing like a deer in headlights.
Pulled out my little piece offerings,
All wrapped in a brown paper bag.
Wife glaring at me,
A low growl emanating from her throat.
(Only heard on the exorcist.)
While I was waiting for her head to spin round.
She asked pointing to the bag. "what's that".
Me putting the bag gently on the counter top replied,
"Don't know why your taking it out on me,
Got you a present bought you some elephant eggs ".
Before she had chance to answer,
I slithered passed her to the lounge.
Sitting down on the sofa.
After what seemed like an eternity,
She opened the lounge door snuggled up to me.
In a softer voice,
"Sorry Alan didn't mean to take it out on you,
Just that the two kids were playing me up".
Me being a little sod answered.
" That's okay I've had a bad day too,
They're not really elephant eggs there camel eggs".
She huffed then crossed her arms as she spoke.
" I knew you were lying to me,
I know elephants don't lay eggs!".
Short story by Alan J Ripley
Read 281 times
Written on 2021-09-21 at 14:47
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CAMEL'S EGGS
While out traveling, I came across a sign that said,Goose eggs fifty pence. Having two little ankle bitters
thought better buy one each,
Not remembering how big they are.
One was big enough for scrambled eggs for all of us.
Even before entering our home,
From the yelling and shouting
I knew it was going to be my fault.
Gingerly opening the front door,
The tension inside could be cut with a knife,
Slam went the cupboard door,
Bang went the plates on the counter tops.
Me standing like a deer in headlights.
Pulled out my little piece offerings,
All wrapped in a brown paper bag.
Wife glaring at me,
A low growl emanating from her throat.
(Only heard on the exorcist.)
While I was waiting for her head to spin round.
She asked pointing to the bag. "what's that".
Me putting the bag gently on the counter top replied,
"Don't know why your taking it out on me,
Got you a present bought you some elephant eggs ".
Before she had chance to answer,
I slithered passed her to the lounge.
Sitting down on the sofa.
After what seemed like an eternity,
She opened the lounge door snuggled up to me.
In a softer voice,
"Sorry Alan didn't mean to take it out on you,
Just that the two kids were playing me up".
Me being a little sod answered.
" That's okay I've had a bad day too,
They're not really elephant eggs there camel eggs".
She huffed then crossed her arms as she spoke.
" I knew you were lying to me,
I know elephants don't lay eggs!".
Short story by Alan J Ripley
Read 281 times
Written on 2021-09-21 at 14:47
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
