HEPLE HAMPSTED HEATH

Being home all on my own,

No one to call I felt so alone.

Went out for baked beans and beer,

I stayed out without much of a care.

Decided to go for a walk for a little fresh air,

I met her on heple hampsted heath.

My tongue it got tide as though it was twisted,

Told her my name it was Keith.

From my tummy came a funny old rumble,

I farted so load out shoot my teeth. 

She burped when she sneezed,

It was her glasses she lost.

This all kicked off around about seven,

We thought it was a match made in heaven.

The sirens of the cars parked around,

In unison went off. As there lights started;

flashing on that strange little heath,

A crater was left where I just farted.

She took me home my heart it did soar,

We kissed eagerly upon her front porch.

My stomach it rumbled again,

I farted so loud it blew off the door.

It was at that time I suddenly knew,

I could never get close to my new beau.

That was the first and the last time I fear,

For I could never give up:

My baked beans and my beer.

On the news I heard a bit later,

They said a bomb had gone off.

All that was left was a huge crater,

They also said they thought somebody

died. On heple hampsted heath.

For all that they found,

Was some glasses and teeth.

 





Poetry by Alan J Ripley The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 28 times
Written on 2022-05-04 at 00:15

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