HEPLE HAMPSTED HEATH
Being home all on my own,
No one to call I felt so alone.
Went out for baked beans and beer,
I stayed out without much of a care.
Decided to go for a walk for a little fresh air,
I met her on heple hampsted heath.
My tongue it got tide as though it was twisted,
Told her my name it was Keith.
From my tummy came a funny old rumble,
I farted so load out shoot my teeth.
She burped when she sneezed,
It was her glasses she lost.
This all kicked off around about seven,
We thought it was a match made in heaven.
The sirens of the cars parked around,
In unison went off. As there lights started;
flashing on that strange little heath,
A crater was left where I just farted.
She took me home my heart it did soar,
We kissed eagerly upon her front porch.
My stomach it rumbled again,
I farted so loud it blew off the door.
It was at that time I suddenly knew,
I could never get close to my new beau.
That was the first and the last time I fear,
For I could never give up:
My baked beans and my beer.
On the news I heard a bit later,
They said a bomb had gone off.
All that was left was a huge crater,
They also said they thought somebody
died. On heple hampsted heath.
For all that they found,
Was some glasses and teeth.
Poetry by Alan J Ripley
Read 28 times
Written on 2022-05-04 at 00:15
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