It's no fun being a bonafide vampire,

When you're a a pescatarian.

Don't mean to moan;

Would be better as a taxman,

Could've got blood from a stone.

Sucked the blood from a cabbage,

Just to hear the screams.

Tomatoes are the best,

Sinking ones teeth in them,

It comes out nice and red.

Blood oranges on my list,

Only to be quite honest.

Some of them seem to be,

Well you know sun kissed.

It's no fun being a vegetarian,

Of that there is no doubt.

Especially when you get

your vampire teeth,

Caught in a brussel sprout.

A cantaloupe melon to me,

Would taste divine.

Frozen vegetables beware,

It's time for a pescatarian

Vampire to dine.