I lost ... But I really tried, B ...


Private Hell ...

Defeated, licking my wounds in solitude 
Whispers in my mind, demons licking my ear:
"You FAILED, broke down, lost control, like we said you would" ...
Falling too my knees, grasping the earth 
Are they right? Have I lost? 
Ash raining from blackened skies, burning my
bare skin raw
I scream out a mute cry of agony, silenced by the truth in their words ...
I have lost, but not one battle 
One I couldn't win, three that were lost to me ...
All four ... ripping me to shreds, silently killing me ... 
I collapse under the weight, feeling the cold mud on my face
It would be so easy to just give in
Give in to the whispers calling my surrender ...
Just let go, let the searing pain wash away like my tears watering the gray mud under my severed body ... 
Turn back into the cold, ruthless Ice Queen 
Feeling nothing, caring for no one
No one at all ...
It would be so easy, so very easy 
to let them be right, to give up my soul ...
Be rid of the sorrow, the pain, the losses 
pinning me to this ash covered ground ...
But I will not! 
I will rest here in my private hell, letting them burn me to ash
So that I once again can rise, scarred from life but still alive ... 



Poetry by Mystica
Read 189 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2023-05-18 at 01:12

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Sona The PoetBay support member heart!
oh Yes!
This one is a gem of a poem. a true treasure for this is how we engae with life which sometimes we feel has entangled us. A warrior poem.
2023-06-07


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
Your poem has been chosen to be featured on the home page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting on our poetry website!
2023-05-29


shells
What's worse than failing, is not trying. Your final line carries the hope, a very emotive write.
2023-05-18


Individ
Wow very visual representation of your inner feelings.
Poems tells alot about the person writing it.

I hope you will overcome the private hell of yours.

Nice writing!
2023-05-18


Griffonner The PoetBay support member heart!
I am with OTP on this: intensely sensitive soul,or... a mysrical veiled story of a spiritual nature. Perhaps "Mystica" will enlighten us.
Very interesting read. Very thought provoking too.
Blessings, Allen
2023-05-18


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
I cannot imagine the person who wrote such a feeling poem ever turning back into:

' . . . the cold, ruthless Ice Queen
Feeling nothing, caring for no one
No one at all ... "

I see only a person who feels intensely life's wounds.
2023-05-18