The romance novel's heroine possessed a heaving bosom.
Yours is still, but I have found it thrilling.  That man she
Thought unattractive at the start, then loved, had thick 
And curly hair.  As you can see, I've almost none.  These
Are but two of countless ways in which the novel's 
Storm-tossed lovers differ so from you and me, but, please
Put on this gown I bought you.  I will don a doublet
And a jerkin.  We can make believe, and, with some luck,
We'll soon embark on our own epic love.