A piece that I wrote during my high school career about the loss of friendships
Some losses aren’t large; you don’t realize it until it's a year later. It is the slow drifting apart of friendships, the quietness that comes from loneliness. It’s the quiet realization that there was no argument, there was no yelling, no slamming doors, no final message. Just a slow drifting apart like flowers on water.
We used to talk in a way that only we understood, the inside jokes, the looks over the shoulders, the names we would call one another, the stuff that didn’t need explaining. For a while I assumed that kind of closeness was permanent, that it was something that was earned and kept forever, that we would be friends for years, our late night talks, our projects that we swore we would do and the plans for the future that would always be us. I just never thought that we would pull apart. Not silently anyway.
It wasn’t that one day we drifted apart; it was something that happened over a year ago. It began in ways that felt harmless at first, a few missed messages and a couple of cancelled plans. I thought it was normal, that we were just getting busy as we got older. Maybe one day things would get back to the way they were. It never did.
I learned that this type of relationship wasn’t something that could be put on a back burner and come back to later. It’s like how you can talk to one person then not see them for months and then it’s like you guys never stopped talking. They stopped reaching out and all the hangout requests were denied. I was left on read and so the distance between us grew.
What hurt the most was how normal it felt, how it happened so slowly. At first, it didn't hit how hard this would be. It was just a faint pain like noticing a cut with no idea where it came from. There's something unique about loss like that, like there’s no one to blame; there’s no anger or fight, nothing to hide behind. It’s just the understanding that we outgrow people even when we don't want to.
A part of me wanted to keep waiting, to keep trying to see if they would come back. Maybe by some coincidence, by some miracle, some conversation that would bring my friendship back together. I couldn’t be the only one trying, and I didn’t know if continuing to wait would make sense.
I’ve learned to not fight the change because, no matter what we do people will change. Environments and circumstances will always change and sometimes all we can do is accept it. There’s no way to fight against it and now you can just accept that what you had, is gone. All that’s left isn’t a form of regret, It’s a type of gratitude mixed with longing. It’s the sense that you want what you could’ve had; you want your friends back, you want your other half but you understand that it can’t be like that anymore. You still wish for what you cannot have, and even if you no longer speak to one another, those memories have not drifted away. They will always be there being silent pain, a form of grief as one would say.
Maybe that’s what it feels like to lose someone slowly. Not every relationship or friendship will last. But every relationship, every friendship, every connection you’ve made will leave something behind and sometimes that’s all you need. Sometimes that’s all you need to let go. To accept what has been lost.
Essay by Theo_Door91
Read 39 times
Written on 2026-05-11 at 04:30
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A quiet loss
Loss is a term that can mean nothing or everything. There are some losses that happen one at a time, some happen years apart or something that happens all at once. In a way you can think back and say that’s when everything changed. Other times you don’t realize it until it’s already happened. Sometimes change is so different, you just look up and think what happened? You wake up and realize that your life was rearranged, not enough where it was noticeable, but just enough that you noticed it that day.Some losses aren’t large; you don’t realize it until it's a year later. It is the slow drifting apart of friendships, the quietness that comes from loneliness. It’s the quiet realization that there was no argument, there was no yelling, no slamming doors, no final message. Just a slow drifting apart like flowers on water.
We used to talk in a way that only we understood, the inside jokes, the looks over the shoulders, the names we would call one another, the stuff that didn’t need explaining. For a while I assumed that kind of closeness was permanent, that it was something that was earned and kept forever, that we would be friends for years, our late night talks, our projects that we swore we would do and the plans for the future that would always be us. I just never thought that we would pull apart. Not silently anyway.
It wasn’t that one day we drifted apart; it was something that happened over a year ago. It began in ways that felt harmless at first, a few missed messages and a couple of cancelled plans. I thought it was normal, that we were just getting busy as we got older. Maybe one day things would get back to the way they were. It never did.
I learned that this type of relationship wasn’t something that could be put on a back burner and come back to later. It’s like how you can talk to one person then not see them for months and then it’s like you guys never stopped talking. They stopped reaching out and all the hangout requests were denied. I was left on read and so the distance between us grew.
What hurt the most was how normal it felt, how it happened so slowly. At first, it didn't hit how hard this would be. It was just a faint pain like noticing a cut with no idea where it came from. There's something unique about loss like that, like there’s no one to blame; there’s no anger or fight, nothing to hide behind. It’s just the understanding that we outgrow people even when we don't want to.
A part of me wanted to keep waiting, to keep trying to see if they would come back. Maybe by some coincidence, by some miracle, some conversation that would bring my friendship back together. I couldn’t be the only one trying, and I didn’t know if continuing to wait would make sense.
I’ve learned to not fight the change because, no matter what we do people will change. Environments and circumstances will always change and sometimes all we can do is accept it. There’s no way to fight against it and now you can just accept that what you had, is gone. All that’s left isn’t a form of regret, It’s a type of gratitude mixed with longing. It’s the sense that you want what you could’ve had; you want your friends back, you want your other half but you understand that it can’t be like that anymore. You still wish for what you cannot have, and even if you no longer speak to one another, those memories have not drifted away. They will always be there being silent pain, a form of grief as one would say.
Maybe that’s what it feels like to lose someone slowly. Not every relationship or friendship will last. But every relationship, every friendship, every connection you’ve made will leave something behind and sometimes that’s all you need. Sometimes that’s all you need to let go. To accept what has been lost.
Essay by Theo_Door91
Read 39 times
Written on 2026-05-11 at 04:30
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
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by Theo_Door91 Latest textsOnce is enoughChristmas table What if… Drowned in the waves A quiet loss |
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