about feeling empty and wanting to die...

Disillusioned suicide

Why doesn't the phone go off ringing
and telling my mind that it's "daddy"?
He won't sing me a lullaby or
remind me of yesterday's rainy doorstep.
He's too far off and I know it.
I sit here in this empty bathtub,
while all I want to do is die;
you don't even come up with food.
I'm hungry. I haven't eaten.
Maybe I want to starve myself to death?
Of course, no one will see it - I hide it so well
deep inside the well of my underground emotions.
I don't want them to exist - why should they?
These little parasites!
Am I not strong? - Hiding everything,
my every thought, my every breath
under the orange leaves in the forest?
Do worms need secrets to keep them busy at night?
I've heard that grasshoppers do.
I won't ever show you how I feel,
how can one express air on stage?
Won't crack open like a ripe chestnut in front of you.
Now why, silly one, did you have to get involved with me?
Didn't the wind come knocking on your door
to inform you that I'm bad news?
I won't confess to none but God,
won't let you laugh like they did.
Won't annoy you with my continuous nightmares.
Will relieve you from the torture of holding me.
I'm not scared or disturbed,
simply disillusioned...

Poetry by FrancescaLuca
Read 783 times
Written on 2006-11-11 at 13:18

Tags Suicide 

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Dark and forboding--deep and rich, the imagery is fantastic..you have such a way with words..

Catacomb Villain
A strong and powerfull writing in my opinion.
Style combined with love and hate.
Your words effect me.

Mukul Dahal
I loved this one too.