Of all schooldays swimming events
There was non so admirably suited
To a sedentary life style than The Plunge
Not merely a lunge into the depths
But an event on which more time
Might be usefully spent eating to attain
And to train to achieve the accolade of champion

Relegated too often, either by cruel design
Or expediency into the 'Cinderella' 
Penultimate point of any sports day
It seemed nevertheless to fit the aspirations
Of those boys who otherwise might go home trophyless
And leave their houses rueing  the misfortune
Of being at that period of time
When they were home to a mismatch of also rans at sport.

Of such during my period in upper school was Lyttleton
Rarely did they sing 'To the victor be the spoils'
Most of their glory lay in Academia
Save for a devastating threequater back named J.C.Carrol,
An equally fomidable runner and rival of mine for
The blue riband mile event on sports day named R.J.Stannier
And 'Fatty Hammond', a rollicking fun loving barrel of a boy
Who floated like a cork and could hold his breath forever
From such prowess was success in the plunge wrought.

It was for nought such thing as luck
That for seven school years 'on the trot'
Fatty Hammond was the hero of upper house Lyttleton
From middle to upper school he dominated an event
Where technical expertise centred
On diving in from the poolside with arms held out in front
Holding ones face under water
Then seeing how far one could float
Without drawing breath

When fatty Hammond plunged
The whole school held its breath
For the boy had the lung capacity
And the constitution of a Sperm whale
Thus when lesser mortals gave up
Gasping for breath after a mere ten yards
Fatty Hammond was still bouyant
After thirty yards or more

In nineteen fifty eight
After a full season training on 'stodge'
From a school tuck shop he smashed the school record
He floated a full forty two yards whilst still holding his breath
The record was subsequently dissallowed 
When he was adjudged to have 'feathered' With his fingers 
During the last seconds of the event to gain extra inches
He went on the  following year to break the record again
At forty eight yards his records still stands