This is a poem about my friend's horrible horrible girlfriend, inspired by Big Poppa E's spoken word poem "13 Metaphors For Why We Should Have Never Dated."


Eleven Metaphors For Why I Hate Your Girlfriend's Guts

We are the mighty continent of Pangaea
and she is plate tectonics

We are Led Zeppelin
and she is John Bonham's alcohol soaked vomit

We are flamboyant coked up 80's homosexuals
and she is the AIDS virus

We are a glowing chunk of Uranium-235
and she is Albert Einstein

We are the noble Navajo Nation
and she is smallpox infested blankets

We are a perfect world spinning in total peace and harmony
and she is religion.

We are happily grazing brontosauruses
and she is a giant asteroid hurtling toward earth at 56000 miles an hour

We are beautiful, magical unicorns
and she is the door of Noah's Ark slamming in our faces

We are the Jews
and she is every person who didn't buy Hitler's paintings

We are the majestic Hindenburg
and she is the highly combustible properties of hydrogen

And we are the an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet
and she is a two meter wide thermal exhaust port




Poetry by Rapscallion
Read 733 times
Written on 2008-06-12 at 05:55

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You really don't like this female do you my outspoken american friend!lol Love your style and thanks for your comments, gave a big thank you back but it never took off!lol Love the Religion met!lol Tai
2008-06-24