well, the title...


Justified

Waistdeep
in it.
but i can feel my toes.
There is no harm
in it.
because i can feel my toes.

Chestdeep
in it.
but i can feel the air.
i can breathe when i'm
in it.
Because i can feel the air.

Neckdeep
in it.
But i can see the world.
Thats a sign i'm not too deep
in it.
Because i can see them.

Hairdeep
in it.
But its so peaceful.
I can't hear a thing when i'm
in it.
because this isn't giving up.
And i'm giving in.




Poetry by shar
Read 889 times
Written on 2008-11-26 at 05:41

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


Puddled
HUH!! A Sharu-poem I haven't commented on! travesty!
hehe...it sounds like a rap Shar, in it, in it...grin
But yeah, the hope against hope spirit of yours...shows...
2008-12-25


Thomas Perdue The PoetBay support member heart!
Yes, we (people) do this a lot...
We seem to all be seeker of justification in areas where there is no justification to be found. ;-)

Interesting format, and an even more interesting message!

A couple of grammatical notes I would like to make: in life four of stanza three, it should be "that's", not "thats", you forgot the apostrophe. And line three of the final stanza, it should be "it's" not "its", "it's" is the contraction "it is", "its" is the possesive pronoun. All easily fixed. And again, nice job. :-)

Nice to see you posting again!

Keep writing,
T.
2008-11-26