The recession is affecting my creativity.

Buddy, can you spare a rhyme?

I don't have a blank cheque,
Just a frigid blank page,
And the back of my sweating neck
Is raw from my silent rage,
My word account is in the red,
My passbook is stamped 'Withdrawn',
I have a business plan in my head,
But my accountant looks forlorn,
For all my stock is old hat he says,
I'm still churning out forgettable crap,
But how do you change the wordy ways
Of a nice but old fashioned chap?
I know, I'll seek a new and hip lender,
Someone versed in rebranding has-beens,
I'll overdraw to bankroll an ice-breaking bender
And show off my couplets in tight-fitting jeans,
I'll try hard to become a performance poet,
I'll do stand-up in trendy public places,
And before my creditors know it
I'll be one of the world's best known faces,
With a voice like that of Mario Lanza,
With a message like that of Leonard Cohen,
I'll change my name by deed poll to 'Stan Za'
And declare to the taxman nothing's owing.

So thank you one and all
For listening to this call,
One from the bottom of my wall-et,
As you can see from my scansion
I'll never live in a mansion,
But I can dream of becoming a world beater,
All I need is some talent to put into my meter,
I mean metre, see what I mean, folks?

Chris Fernie, 2009

Poetry by Chris Fernie
Read 586 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2009-06-03 at 00:37

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email
dott Print text

melanie sue
wow, this is superb, Chris. bookmarked most definately.

Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the front page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry website.

Purple Phoenix
Drawn in by the title, and blown away by the cleverness of the rest... great stuff! ;-)

Stan Cooper The PoetBay support member heart!
Chris...this is a terrific write...and I know just how you feel...
I've also been lamenting as of late of a "frigid blank page"


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
I goggled at your couplets I have to admit lol - reminded me of a bank manager I had (before they became replaced with computers) whose name translated as kneebone - I wonder what became of him, Enjoyed reading very much

Elle x

Rob Graber
"But how do you change the wordy ways
Of a nice but old fashioned chap?"

I have to love these lines! (Not that they have anything to do with me...)


lol I know it's a worthless profession being a poet, but I can assure you, the recession is affecting your creativity quite beautifully Chris!lol lovely, smiling at you, Tai