Grain of Sand

Friendship bordered on love
I know it was more to me than to you
Your heart slick in my grasp,
And yet I knew I could not hold on

At one moment, afraid that I'd crush it
I let go, and never truly held it again.
You were willing to give,
but I only took it in pieces.

Afraid I would be tempted again,
tempted to offer the world
and only deliver a grain of sand.

Yet here I am again in the same situation
Offering the same thing,
And not delivering
Hopelessness seeping slowly in
I encourage you, and it backfires
I believe in myself, and it tears you to shreds

You offer willingly, thinking I am helping,
And yet I am reopening the same wound.
Picking at the scab until it refuses to heal over
Yet you offer it again,
And I am afraid to accept

I am afraid to stab that last part of you,
The part you're supposed to keep for yourself
I part I have selfishly kept to myself,
for all these years, you will never know me.
Not truly.

And I keep changing,
Raven hair, strong, secure,
Chestnut hair, mousy, innocent.
You will never know me, and I will never let you
Your hardships not meant for someone of a young age
I refuse to burden you of my suffering
I refuse to let your eyes glaze over,
to have you see the world through a film of hate.
I refuse to let you be like me.
I will not stand by and watch you become vindictive,
Like me.

I want you to stay the same,
but to do that I must offer the world,
And only deliver a grain of sand

Poetry by Lauren M
Read 453 times
Written on 2009-08-16 at 08:48

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