Losing A Dear Friend

When you first get word
Your friend just suddenly passed away
You first can't believe it
Shock sets in and your mind takes
you to another dimension,like time stops
A Buzzing sound you start to hear
A numbing side affect
It's really hard to describe

You don't believe there dead
And next your trying to hold on to
that belief cause of the pain is so deep
You feel shooting pains through your veins
And its so much to bear
Knowing your best of friend
Is no longer here

She had kindness,patience and concern
We shared so many things in life
Even when she battled diabetes
since she was six years
She always looked out for everyone
Keeping me in line,she was strong
And she knew when there
something wrong

How I wish she was here right now
I wish I could see her face
She always put a smile on mine
I wish I could tell her she was dear to me
And I am saddened beyond my tears
My heart aches for the time that passed
exchanging numbers,but life just got in
the way..It hurts I didn't call her or
see her more..but my "if only's"
run through my mind
I just hurts,she wasn't
supposed to die this way

I dropped to my knees
and I cried and cried
All I wanted was to
wake up from this misery

I miss her so much,we all do who loved her
And when she died the whole town felt
the pain who knew her
If only she knew how much
she was loved by her friends
that came to say their
final goodbye
When you lose someone so young
Who thought would be here with
you forever...

I sit here and write gasping to breathe
It's bloody hard knowing Janeen
my dear friend is gone
Never did I think she would
be taken so sudden

Awhen I had to go to her memorial service at church
Just to step inside was hard to do
I went in a room where all the family was
And when Jane her mom held me tight
She told me we had such a connection
I told her how we both spent
Christmas day together in Emergency
she had low blood sugar and I with
Asthma attack...and she told me
It was funny you both wanted
to take the turkey plate off
the nurses station,I just
cried and said yes we
had a good time
Christmas day
Even if it was
in a emergency ward
She said it
was meant to be
to see her that day


This is the way I try to let go
Writing my pain of losing someone close

Janeens baby,was her cat Loui,he was
roaming the church,she loved her cat
He was part of the family and made
people laugh in church,the way it
jumped up high on a window then
jumping onto a choir member..
It was quite comical

But I am very angry bitter too
Taking things out on the one I love
I have been distant,maybe cause
I don't want her to see me upset

I just had to write this,and now
maybe I can sleep soundly

May Shellie Janeen Rose my sweetest friend
I hope she is at peace and knows how
much she meant to me

I miss her so and this is what they wrote
on the booklet they gave us all at church
with a picture of Janeen,in loving memory..

Death lies on her like untimely frost
upon the sweetest flower of all the field..


In loving memory of my dear friend
Who forever will be with me in heart and spirit
And when I go to bed each night,I will talk to
her and pray and tell her I will be ok...

*~Shellie Janeen Rose~*

August 11,1968 - January15,2010

Poetry by workoutrules
Read 443 times
Written on 2010-01-28 at 09:15

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