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today has not been a good day for me my name is Orlando some call me Roland and i brought some good news from Aix to Ghent. but nobody gave a toss

Orlando The Brave by M.A.Meddings

I just brought some good news
from Aix to Ghent
But nobody wanted to stay

Tried all that i could
as a bold knight should
Sod off was all they would say

one girl in the square
with her attributes bare
attracted this bold knights attention

I have some advice
for a girl that is nice
is that all kind sir you can mention

No but i did say
as her brown eyes did stray
All over my fine shiny armour

if you listen fine miss
i shall proffer a kiss
then proceeded to dampen her ardour

It is just like this
my fine pretty miss
some good news i have for you

then she gave me a smile
and tarried awhile
are you sure its all you can do

I was sorely tempted
and my resolve was dented
by the shape of her womanly bosum

but the Charlemagne clan
every one to a man
And me as the last of the dozen

Puts their duty first
even though they do thirst
for the touch of some soft silken skin

I looked in a tissy
appeared quite a sissy
and of course neglected to sin

I have some good tidings
but no one is listening
and looked just a little bit sore

clear off said the miss
you are taking the ****
And its just what your dressed like that for

But we just won a battle
and no tittle tattle
Down in the fields around Aix

Shut up said the miss
just give me a kiss
then lets have a roll in the hay

thats just how we did it
how on earth did ya guess it
distracting the enemies attention

such a fiendish plan
we did to a man
enlist what i hated to mention

We got all the ladies
some of them shady
to dance in the fields quite naked

and there wasnt a man
In The Aix garrison
could resist the offer quite sacred

they danced through the night
ignoring the plight
and to a man they wanted to pass it

in the arms of a woman
their head on her bosum
Often a ladies best asset

Whilst they were embroiled
Some might say toiled
At gymnastics a la romantic

So as not to bore
we went in the back door
quite ignoring the sexual antics

Well the day is quite won
Said the emporor son
Orlando I've a quest for you

Ride 300 miles
and no night on the tiles
to tell em in the town Ghent

that weve taken at Aix
celebrate all this day
And me like a plonker I went

To the square in the town
Where with eyes of brown
Was a maiden i'd set my heart on

i've brought to this square
good news and its rare
but alas and alack she was gone

I have brought just to show
dont you want to know
about how the city was routed

We have taken the town
and everythings down
'Including their knickers' they shouted

Now i'm a knight thats quite bold
and when i was told
that the lady had left i was slighted

and resolved there and then
Not to do it again
next time i would not be this knighted

If they want a fool
then here is a rule
Orlando is not quite your man

if there's good news to spread
then i'll stay in bed
With a maiden if only i can

If Charlemagne wants it
Then he best do his bit
To take the good news far and yonder

the city can burn
for now its my turn
can you blame me is it any wonder

I am brave for all whiles
Ride 300 miles
but theres a limit to courage you see

With gymnastics on offer
and pretty girls proffer
I certainly want some for me

Poetry by lastromantichero