F.i.in.e Moods
"emaciated hopes are fed
a diet of stale rage" - oh... wow. I can't even begin to explain what those lines strike in me.
2013-05-31

Power in that text... well done!
2013-05-17

I can't help but think that the one person who should read this never will.

You've wrapped a tough set of emotions in a rhythmic and pointed cloak, the word choices and rhymes are all yours, all good.
2013-05-17

Wish I had your gift of working with rhyme. Clever scheme of every second line rhyming and they are original and surprising rhymes too:

world/curled
sighs/compromised

William
2013-05-17

Elle
dormant and defeated
in a prison built of sighs

Those particular lines spoke out to me -we are so often caged by our own emotions

Elle
2013-05-17

Chaucer Whethers
Just about as powerful and effective a poetic statement
as the hybrid Anglo English has ever whipped into articulation.
2013-05-17

Rob Graber
I like especially "stale rage" and "a prison built of sighs." Hope she breaks out!
2013-05-17

Wow... It's hard to describe what I'm seeing here. With each set of lines, the emotion and power seems to build. It's almost as if watching the prison being built. Beautifully written. I especiall love:

no cravings for the comfort of
appropriated world

estranged, outcast, secluded to
the place where dreams lie curled

*hears an echo of 'DamnBoyHell' from somewhere within*

Bookmarked.
2013-05-17