I started to write this for a Pantoum challenge on The Bay a long while ago and never finished it, finally I tried, unsure if I have got the format correct.


Vin Rouge, just the one, (bottle)

The bottle, chosen with care
no no, 'twas frugality
that seemed to take me there,
really, my mentality.

No, no 'twas frugality,
pennies being counted,
really, my mentality
anxiety was mounted.

Pennies being counted,
how many for a week?
anxiety was mounted,
things a little bleak.

How many for a week?
the colour shall be red,
things a little bleak
one or two I said?

The colour shall be red
single not a pair,
I am just easily led,
the bottle chosen with care.









Poetry by shells
Read 695 times
Written on 2014-05-26 at 18:21

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Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
Nicely done. You met the challenge.
2014-06-01


Rob Graber
As a lover of de vin rouge, I enjoyed this!
2014-05-28


Kathy Lockhart
I don't know what the challenge was, but I do know I enjoyed reading this very fine piece of verbal art. I loved the flow and the hesitations just where they belong while telling a simple story of selection. It is how our minds work. I could see the cog wheels working as you were making just the right choice and then rethinking it. This does paint a word painting with each line. Thank you for posting. It is a beautifully written poem. :) kathy
2014-05-27


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
A fine work and beauty of a poem.
Ken
2014-05-26



I don't know if the format is correct or not, but I could see what you were doing following each paragraph with a sentence from the last. The story line in the poem is charming and so enjoyable. A very fun read. :)
2014-05-26