I have lived many places, but never really had a home to go back to. And then I met my best friend. He is my home. He is where I am loved.

My journey home

I am in love with my best friend.
The thing is, we were once together, but now it is not so.
I do not think he knows that I am still in love with him.
He knows that I love him, for I tell him so...

... but still, I do not know if he knows.
I would gladly tell him if he ever asked, but he is not the type to ask such questions.
He is the type of honor, compassion and love.
He is honest, kind and caring.

I have not a single cruel word to say about him.
He is imperfect because he is human, but he is perfect for the same reason.
He is all that is good about humanity and mankind.
Or in the very least, he tries restlessly to be.

If this man whom I love, could see using my sight, he could not help but to love himself.
Although I see his mistakes and sins and know what he dares not say, he is still all around wonderful from day to never ending day.
I know without a doubt in my mind that he and I are perfect for one another, but I am unsure as to whether that means being just friends or not.
In all honesty, that is up to him, regardless of how I wish it was my decision to make.

I keep thinking without ceasing "what if he could see through my eyes?"
Thinking usually gets me nowhere fast.
I keep telling myself so that I may have peace "... if he could just see how I see, then all would be well and we could be together..."
I have traveled so many places, longing for a home.

I have come to realize when I look into his eyes, relish in his warm embrace and listen to his soothing voice, that I am home.
I have never really had a home, nor someone I had felt at home with.
Now, with my best friend, I do.
There are no number of tears I could joyfully cry nor words I could scream, sing or pray from mountain tops that could ever truly express what it is to finally be home.

I had been homeless and lonely for so long, that when I finally found my home, tears of pure joy and peace flooded my face.
My smile emerged from my drying tear-stained face.
I had no home, no one to go to and nowhere I felt like I was loved and where I felt like I mattered.
Then in a sudden reality shattering experience, you waltzed into my life with class and grace, taking my world by storm.

You made the air in my lungs freeze.
You made my heart stop and my mind ablaze with the silencing question of "Am I dreaming?"
For if I dreamed a dream so sweet, I would never want to awaken.
You saw through my walls and walked lazily past my guards standing watch, past my rigged fortress and straight into my cell, where I had locked myself away from fear of too much pain.

So many people had torn me open and displayed my heart for all to see.
So many people I trusted and loved, gutted me like a fish for their own enjoyment.
They punished me for something beyond my control.
I had to lock myself away, no matter how much I wanted a family, in the end, it was me who got the short ends of the sticks and the heart break from loss.

I was broken many times over when you found me.
I had been busted beyond any possible repair and when you saw how broken I truly was, I expected to be treated as the trash that I was.
But you, my best friend, treated me like a princess.
A princess to be praised with sincerity and pure delight.

No one had ever treated me like a princess unless their intent was to use me.
But you, being who you are, loved me and accepted me.
When I looked up from my shambles and the realization that you were genuinely kind...
... I looked up into your beautiful and gracious eyes...
And I knew beyond any doubt and no one could ever convince me otherwise, not now, not then, never...
I knew when I looked into your eyes, that I was home.

In short, Sweetie, there is no "falling out of love" with you.
At least not for me...

Words by Sarah Parnes
Read 973 times
Written on 2014-08-10 at 04:45

Tags Bestfriend  Home  Love 

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Nabeela Altaf
So sweet. Lovely use of words.