I think I should tell you...
... my friend, I think you should know...
... you should know that I envy you.
That knowing you is bittersweet.

It is bitter because you simply and effortlessly have what I have searched for and desired for so long.
You have a family.
A family that functions and is knit well together.
I feel that you are a reflection of my dream life.

For so many years, I felt so alone.
I was tired and had no home to go to, no family to go back to.
When I would cry, I would not make a sound, for there was only me and why discomfort others while in my sorrow?
It is not like they would care anyway.

When I finally found my family, shortly there after I found my home.
You are my family and you know of my home.
You know what my home means to me but you know not of how much you mean to me.
I have searched, waited and wept for so long in waiting for the gift of unity and the feeling of being home to bless me.

So long I have thought of what it would be like if my life was completely different.
If my father had not laid his hands on us in anger.
If my father took care of his illness.
... if I were to live a normal life...

You have what I dream of and you possess it without knowing what it means to lose it.
I now what it is like to lose family by death, distance or hatred.
You truly do not know what you have, my friend.
Not until you have lost everything and spent your everything in the hopes of finding that something again.

Words by Sarah Parnes
Read 939 times
Written on 2014-08-30 at 04:16

Tags Family  Searching  Wept 

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