We were hiking one evening in Florida, and the sun set in a smokey-rose haze beyond the trees and my daughter said, "When we get home, you should write a story called 'Smokey Rose.'" And so this strange tale came to be.

Smokey Rosa

The solar orb tumbled ever downward toward the darkening trees as Smokey Rosa bloated up the inflatable kayak that was flobbed by the water's edge.

Finally the tiresome task was complete. Into the turbid canal waters went the flabby vessel. She slithered into the boat.

"Come, Bosidian, come boy!" she bawled. The humungous sinewy black feline bounded from the shadowy bank and flew into her arms.

Gal, cat and vessel floated serenely into the center of the canal where a gentle zephyr current moved them along.

Meanwhile, the well lubricated Archimedes Tour Showboat had just loudly launched into the canal, jam-packed with posh cash-laden snowbirds who had flown from their Northern nests.

"And over thar is ouour famus Simpson's Island, shaped like Homer Simpleton's heaid!!" drawled the Showboat's host. Several guests cheered and clapped loudly.

Smokey Rosa was enjoying a fag with her pet when the raucous showboat rounded a bend and was upon them. Every fiber of Bosidian's fur and claws stretched out, electrified. SSSSSS went the kayak.

"Oh, Mabel, look at that damn hooker and that oversized rat over there!!" roared Lionel Runyan, a CEO from a startup smartphone app company in New York. "Shut up Lionel!!" screeched his scrawny trophy wife.

Smokey and Bosidian were in tragic straits-Smokey didn't swim and Bosidian hated water. Alligators were known to infest canal waters, but the animals she feared most were the feisty manatees during mating season in the spring.

The water near Bosidian boiled up and a set of snorting nostrils broke the surface. Sure enough...

Lionel bellowed "There's a giant sub-monster snorting next to the go-go girl!"

"Shut your trap, Lionel, or I'll throw all your designer booze in the water!"

The tour host grabbed the mic and excitedly babbled about the manatee sighting but no one was listening.

Bosidian flailed away from the behemoth. "Kitty, kitty, kitty!" wailed
Smokey as her mouth filled with murky canal water.

The tour ship slapped to a stop next to the frantic woman. In she was pulled via an extended oar. Bosidian was scooped up in a fishing net and dumped bedraggled on deck.

A fleeing manatee banged into the flimsy cheaply built Archimedes while being pursued by an amorous mate. The ship pitched wildly and several sloshed guests tumbled overboard.

"This is what our hard-earned money gets us-a damn dirty bath in a smelly canal filled with foul snorting monsters and prostitutes" wheezed ancient Ethel Myers, luckily one who did not find herself in the drink. Her husband Roberto heartily agreed. However there was a grave casualty when Ethel spied her expensive wig bobbing amongst the dislocated guests, dislodged by the listing of the boat.

Florida Coast Guard made their debut, attracted by all the hideous ruckus. They were not impressed and busted the entire motley crew and impounded the rickety Archimedes.

Smokey and her cat made out okay after all. While the intoxicated guests were in a total uproar, she quietly pick-pocketed thousands of dollars from the obnoxious patrons.

Now Bosidian has a very nice large solid kayak to go boating in and a large cathouse to boot.


Short story by Stephen Jay
Read 801 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2014-11-09 at 22:15

Tags Nature  Humor 

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Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
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ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
A wonderful , story , Steve and Babs. As some one said , in reach day , we incounter storys and poems , just itching to be writ down. Thank you for this great story,
Ken D