this time
i want to poison my mind
i want to forget this pain boiling up inside
i want to open my heart and fall on this sword's sharp side
and be crushed as if planets collide
this spiritual battle which i have within myself
is only quelled by this poison
which i prescribe myself
this time i surprised myself
because this time the poison relieved itself
this time it gave me more pain
this time the whole act of poisoning myself with this liquor was in vain
its a shame
that one has to rely on a bottle rather than a human
but now i shall try to give you a reason
a bottle is clear and the contents clearly seen
once you take the contents the bottle remains the same
humans on the other hand have brains
and they conspire to give the people they "care" about pain
when a bottle is empty it can always be full again
a human has emptiness even before thoughts of men

but this bottle failed me
it was too clear to see
because it aws influenced by One human
a Human with spite for me
thats when the bottle turns into a weapon
releasing its contnts like a loose cannon
under the influence, the intoxication
makes me clear and my mouth open
my insides pour out, but they are spilled.
intended for that Human to consume and live
but that human in me died a long time ago
its just this constant pain that tells me to go
because love is the relief and it is so sweet
but now this Human is at my feet
round and centered i stand
clear and open with my heart in my hand
but some kind of blindness has taken you
because suddenly it seems you cannot see through
i become opaque, warm and spiteful
with feelings of love? hate? scorn? ive had my fill
my life is based on my clarity and my love so subtle
what am i now? a human or a bottle

Poetry by Steven Mawer
Read 448 times
Written on 2006-04-25 at 01:24

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