from the book Funny Epitaphs,compiled by Arthur Wentworth Eaton. Source: gutenberg.org
Tread softly mortals o'er the bones
Of this world's wonder, Captain Jones,
Who told his glorious deeds to many
Yet never was believed by any.
Posterity let this suffice
He swore all's true, yet here he lies.
Here lies the body of Jonathan Near
Whose mouth it stretched from ear to ear.
Tread softly, stranger, o'er this wonder,
For if he yawns, you're gone, by thunder!
John Knott, of Sheffield, England:
Here lies a man that was Knott born,
His father was Knott before him,
He lived Knott, and did Knott die,
Yet underneath this stone doth lie.
From St. Philip's Churchyard, Birmingham:
To the memory of James Baker, who died January 27th, 1781.
O cruel Death, how cou'd you be so unkind
To take him before and leave me behind?
You should have taken both of us, if either,
Which would have been more pleasing to the survivor.
Poetry by Editorial Team
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Written on 2015-01-22 at 02:48
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