an indelicate farewell

stood tall with chest
puffed out, so proud
to be this big boy, now
your dependable little man

'you're man of the house, now
so take care of mum and the kids'
all seven years of life straining
to comprehend what's going on

but all that was forthcoming 
was a handshake, 
a clap on the back,
fading footsteps,
and two swinging
khaki duffel bags 



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Poetry by arquious The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 567 times
Written on 2015-11-20 at 12:29

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F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
Hm, yeah, a bit cold and unemotional on the adult's part. But I guess it was his way of getting through a painful moment of having to leave his family (I get the sense it's a military family, ref.: khaki bag). I like your poem, 'cause as it's been mentioned, it conveys a lot in very few lines. However, they leave a strong impression, and you can't help but think about all the reasons of why this farewell unfolded in this manner. And you can't help feel for the 'little man'... it must have been daunting. It evokes a lot, thanks.
2022-06-03


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
This is great. I wonder how man kids had similar situations when young. You conveyed so much in so few lines.
2015-11-26


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
This is very nice.
2015-11-20