The holes I hide

Wandering fingers tracing across my own skin
searching, seeking
to scratch, criticize

a futile attempt to fix and mend by breaking skin or pulling roots

a guilty hidden habit loved ones tried to stop

not self hurting, but a habit of the unconscious or sleeping mind

I am lost in this habit, looking at it now admitting
to lost moments in front of the mirror
to my bloodstained fingernails upon waking and the tufts of hair lying around our home

it is not about pain or stress
but a lost child trying to mend by breaking
to a habit of grooming that is so ugly

yet every hairdresser knows this secret
every nail stylist wonders at the strength of nail-polish needed

such an ugly secret
my shame when my lover finds yet another
hole in myself I made

not for pain or anxiety
but simple habit

Poetry by SecretWords The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 284 times
Written on 2020-07-14 at 03:25

Tags Excoriation  Habits 

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Vivid, eloquent, meaningful writing.

Thank you so much for sharing it.