Recovery Rewinds To Begin Again
I have walked many stepsLived through multiple outcomes
Forever adjusting for each rep
When events transform
My life where time begets
A reaction that is performed
Married at 23, with an expected trip
That didn’t travel in a straight line
Three children, every three years reset
Child one precocious, maybe too bright
Child two developmental issues besets
Child three at four months had no sight
All while trying to build a career
From retail to building furniture
To furniture leasing, to fears
That after each hiccup
Work began again with no tears
While looking for structure
In an increasingly chaotic spear
Of attempts to control a picture
Of grace where there was none given
Realizing with each new professional foray
My personal war of compliance striven
Would never mirror a reality base
Where my partner seemed driven
To cauterize her wounds with others space
So I strove to survive one day at a time
One week at a time, one month at a time
One year at a time, decades of time
A calmness that made each failing
A new beginning to survive a rhyme
Of repeated calamities swimming
In an ocean that consumed my prime
Conditioned by life to see patterns
That I studied, observed, felt
So each new challenge or sanction
Was another brick in a life dealt
With uncertainty lacking peace, traction
Where norms defined whispered
Lies in my ears that were a fiction
Conditioned to never over react
Analyzing events cataloged
Searching for peaceful tracts
Destinies defined by faith performed
Seen as truthful pacts
Realizing this s turn road chloroforms
My life such that each life transaction
Dictates a path that places
A continuous renewal of reactions
Because certainty is an uncertain space
As I see straight lines through graphs
Meant to confuse and give no trace
As of now, my conditioned mind
Seeks peace, seeks partnership
Seeks community whisked from hive kind
Seeks love that features kinship
Seeks people that see reality
In places that defies retrospective
From a past time where ideology
Featured lies, hate with no perspective
Surviving to reinvent, place attention
Where it matters, to family, to spirits
That have no color, or gender defined
As care with no bias, has no critics
No dictates meant as contrived
While a mind that appears stoic
Is always searching for motives
It seems I am always in recovery mode
Poetry by Kee Zealy
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Written on 2026-01-17 at 00:38
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