All Hail! All Hail! America The Golden!

here's a little paean of gentle mockery
to all you low-life yankee oiks
pizza-chewing loud-mouthed badly-dressed
uneducated unsophisticated
fascist ignorant rednecked fatsos
stay on your fucking side
of the fucking grey atlantic
the side you stole from the red indians
when we bunged you out of europe
mainly because you were superfluous
to humanity's requirements
as ugly work-shirking no-hopers
thieves and felons in need of
a bloody good transportation

stay in your ill-furnished apartments
and soiled trailer trash camps
drinking sweetened vomit cola
stuffing slimy burgers down your fat throats
wrapped in your foul loathsome flag
full of pride and stolen money and oil
self-satisfied and moronic
playing children's games stolen
from europe but dressed up like freaks
with baseball hats and pathetic padding
as you're scared of getting hurt
and running home for a greasy lump
of overweight mommy's shop-bought apple pies
wrapped in a kosher old glory paper bag
before flopping down to watch
fox news what a load of fascist piss

you vicious stinking warmongers
imposers of your hideous societal
hegemony on decent civilisation
gobblers of talentless hollywood garbage
stick to doing what you do best
namely invading helpless countries
bombing starving children to bits
and taking nice instant photos to show
to your mentally defective friends
losing wars whenever you get half a chance
and saluting your noisome ensign
as your sons' and daughters'
decimated bits and pieces get shipped home
in rancid stars 'n' stripes garbage bags
to some ugly dirge which spouts
a load of sentimental hogwash
about the land of the fucking free
which gives us a good snigger

don't you know the whole world
wants to puke hugely when it hears
the very stinking word american
dancing in the streets with joy
at every yank killed by allahs hand
pardon me whilst I have an exciting
involuntary attack of diarrhoea
pumping shit out on your patriotism
and farting on your so called veterans' graves
lying under well-deserved six feet of soil
turning back into wholesome manure
which at least is something I suppose

don't let anyone forget your greatest
contribution to the world oh yes
the fact that you have the right to bear arms
and how much everyone loves it when
a few more overweight worthless yankee doodles
in some nasty backwoods shithouse in your pioneer nation
blow each others' ugly fat unwashed balls off
or knock a hole or two in their droopy gross tits
and empty under-educated fat heads

so go and read your silly long-winded
constitution to the nignogs down south
swimming in their flooded new orleans hovels
which no one cares about as they're
only sons of slaves without much cash
and see how they like that
and don't you just know it
but they hate your fat white guts
reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllll gooooood
and their street killings and crime let you know that
and the fact that you keep frying them
in the electric chair or giving them
refreshing tasty cocktails of lethal injections
while the revengers watch with a sneer
and singing songs outside the prison
as ill-defended poor blacks die in fucking agony
makes them like you even less
but at least they can play baseball for you
and you stupidly have renamed them
african-americans in the puerile hope
that will make them hate y'all less
but it won't so wake up baby wake up

and as for your george washington
he was just a traitor and prize cunt
but not as thick as abey lincoln who
couldn't even go to the theatre
(note the correct spelling, anusfaces)
without getting a bullet in his useless guts
which he deserved after spouting
a load of pompous hypocritical garbage
which you pretentiously and piously
call the gettysburg addresss
(a bit jewish sounding that)
but actually is a piece of shit
and then you did the world a favour
(note the fucking correct spelling
you load of cockheads) and had
a civil war which reduced your ranks
by insufficient numbers in my book

so stay in your land of the brave and the free
because you're not wanted anywhere else
except as a fucking laughing stock
to be mocked for laughable bad taste
illiteracy stupidity and ugliness
and then to be most amusingly
ripped off fucking wholesale
as ignorant rubber-necking tourists
who couldn't tell a turd from a piece of shit
which shows there is after all
is fucking well said and done
a bit of justice in the world
and I never even used a fullstop
which you dickheads call a period
being as thick as two short planks

jesus wept you make me want to
go and drop a sodding bomb
on your loathsome overweight country
and laugh as you perish gurgling
and drowning in your own greed
and the toilet excretions and shite
which you regard as your culture
was there ever a nation which more
richly deserved a fucking nuclear blast
to wipe out its foulness and filth
which is a blot upon infinity

but oh dear I forget about religion
what a fucking shame what an oversight
well everyone knows god will bless america
and he certainly did you proud on nine-eleven
maybe he got pissed off at the bollocks
which his crazy baptist followers blether on
about creationism and intelligent design
why (for christ's fucking sake) if the design
were in the tiniest bit intelligent which it's not
the u s of a would be shoved half way up the
holy godlike bumhole and covered in sacred shit

and you even call lavatories bathrooms
being utterly fucking terminally dim
and perpetually in the land of the euphemism
so why don't you good folks go have a real nice day
it's been a real privilege to know you gee yeah
and thank you so much for sharing
and wow what a meaningful godgiven
talent y'all surely do have yeah man
I gotta go now to before I throw up
on my giggling keyboard bye bye folks

Poetry by Edna Sweetlove
Read 932 times
Written on 2006-11-02 at 02:10

Tags America  Humour  Love 

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Edna Sweetlove
It is delightful to receive illiterate comments on my poem. I can only assume that English is not your first (or second) language. Apart from the illiteracy, you are talking rubbish as well.

Coolaaron88 The PoetBay support member heart!
I think I speak for everyone here when I say that your view of America is very warped. Furthermore you poetry is disillusioned and disdain. You write very vulgar poetry and that type of mindset should not be here. Dont think Im nieve becuase Im 16. I can see right throught your very bad logic. Its people like you who make american such a "bad" place to live. Either get your facts straight or just dont say anything. Verbal or poetry wise.

Sandy Hiss
This is horrible, what you've written here. To generalize an entire country based on what, the stuff you see on tv or in movies, most of which is not true. You obviously don't have any personal friends who are American or you would have never written this. Why don't you get out from behind your hate mask and talk to an American. This is nothing but ignorance, disgraceful.

Rating: 0

EmelÚn The PoetBay support member heart!
oh no ! do they really eat shop-bought apple pies ?? they are such a horrible crowd

I just read this and being what did you call it "an African American" and yes I am from NYC, I don't know where you are from and typically, I don't care but let me tell something, I was a soldier, I have relatives, friends and loved ones fighting overseas, and there is nothing evil or warmongering about them. The vision is wrong, maybe but let me be so humble to refresh your memory that what you see that is wrong in this vision, in which you so meticously depicted in this piece, the right parts of this vision happens to be the reason why you can write the very words that comes to your obviously misled mind, so until you step into other people shoes, lived and understand the right and wrongs of a country in which I have a good feeling where you're from, I suggest that maybe, just maybe you can learn some maturity instead of showing everyone how good you can suck your thumb!!!

Ohh darn....i guess this means you won't like me now sad i'm crushed beyond words

blue of red and white origin

there is no doubting this, your work is entertaining, rainbow coloured, true art that I enjoy to visit and you write with a lightness that is most rare but to this poem's content I have a question ; what about 1944, Edna... and the freedom of speech that you benefit from today,
any thoughts on that ?
I come from a country that would be quite different today if America did not help out during the war. Being an old woman I saw that piece of information fitting. However_ I do enjoy your word-greatness and pieces of your mind are often odd little treats. And I adore how you do not give a shit.

lastromantichero The PoetBay support member heart!
hate to spoil this fuck America party and some of your sentiments are valid
i do not denegrate the poetry
But i would respectfully remind you that In 1944 America bought the freedom of Europe with the lives of its soldiers.

it is that freedom that gives you the right to say this in this poem. Yes since then they have been wrong as a nation, but it will be a sorry state for the world should America ever take an isolationist stance again

in my view of course rgds mike

EmelÚn The PoetBay support member heart!
you divine monster

this is .. superb