With apologies to the author of the "Mr" books.

Mr Promiscuous - A Vulgar Fairy Tale (ADULT CONTENT)

a lovely fairy story
Edna Sweetlove

Little Miss Promiscuous surfaced. She reached out as usual for her bedside clock to check the time. She scrabbled about on the bedside table in the semi-darkness but without any success. How strange. And then she remembered. She opened her eyes slightly anxiously and refreshed her memory by taking in her unfamiliar surroundings. The room was quite small and it was rather shabby. The wallpaper was ugly and the curtains were made of some cheap diaphanous floral patterned material. They were unlined and so the dim morning light filtered through them. To the left of the bed, a door with a frosted glass panel led to the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar.

A glance towards the other side of the bed confirmed her drowsy recollections of last night. A large black man was sleeping silently there. Little Miss Promiscuous racked her brains to try and recall his name. She remembered where she had met him, she remembered agreeing to go home with him, she remembered what they had done in bed. Six times. But, for the life of her, she simply couldn't remember his fucking name.
She called out softly, 'Tommy, Tommy,' and, sure enough, the head of her very best friend, Little Miss Peeping Tomasina, appeared round the bathroom door. Little Miss Promiscuous and Little Miss Peeping Tomasina always went everywhere together.
'What is it, Prommy?' said Little Miss Peeping Tomasina. 'Are you going to do it again with the black guy? I'm ready.'
'No, no, he's sleeping. But,' she lowered her voice so as not to wake her bed partner, 'what's his fucking name? Can you remember?'
'His name? Erm, let me think.....oh shit.....wait...isn't it Mr Bigknob?'

Of course. Now she remembered how impressed she had been when he had waltzed over to her at the party and asked her for a fuck. She had looked him up and said, 'And who are you?' And he had said, quick as a flash, 'Ivor Bigknob.' And yes, he had been totally Goddam truthful, hung like a giant rhino.
Little Miss Promiscuous padded over to the bathroom and had a pee, closely observed by Little Miss Peeping Tomasina, who grumbled a bit about having to relinquish her seat to her friend.
'Have you seen enough, Tommy?' asked Little Miss Promiscuous.
'I suppose so. But I wouldn't say no to your waking him up for a goodbye quickie.'
'Oh fuck that, I can't be bothered, he wasn't up to scratch, surely you could see that. Size isn't everything. Come on, let's split.'
So naked Little Miss Promiscuous crept back into the bedroom, retrieved her clothes from the floor and quickly dressed in the bathroom, observed dispassionately by Little Miss Peeping Tomasina. Before they sneaked out of Mr Bigknob's flat, Little Miss Peeping Tomasina simply could not resist lifting up the bedclothes to have a last look at Mr Bigknob's big knob. It was really very big indeed, even when dormant.
'It's nearly nine o'clock,' observed Little Miss Promiscuous, 'the S & V will be open for breakfast in a few moments. Fancy going?'

And so they caught a cruising taxi to their very favourite haunt, the Swingers and Voyeurs Club, for a well-earned breakfast.
'I do hope Mr Flasher will drop in to the club today,' said Little Miss Peeping Tomasina, wisely strapping on her seatbelt, as their taxi driver, the dashing Mr Reckless, rammed his foot to the floorboards and the cab tore down the street like a proverbial bat out of Hell.
'Fuck Mr Flasher,' said Little Miss Promiscuous, 'I'm more interested in that Mr Long-Foreskin whose VD should be cured by now.'

Short story by Edna Sweetlove
Read 968 times
Written on 2010-08-23 at 15:44

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