This is a parody of "There's a little box of pine on the 7.29" a song immortalised (if that's the right word) by Hank Snow in the 1950s. Here's a link to it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqCGLOfBLdc


The Jailbird's Ballad -An Ugly Lump of Flab

VERSE 1
A woman wrote the governor, "How much longer must I wait
Before you let my poor old hubby free,
'Cos I'm living off my hole, supplemented by the dole,
And I need him back to act the pimp for me."
The governor read the letter and a smile crept o'er his face
And, sitting down, he wrote with fell disgrace:

"I am sad to have to say,
that your husband's passed away,
We found him on his cell floor blue and cold;
He was stretched out in the nude,
which we thought was slightly rude
But he's no loss to us if truth be told."

CHORUS
"He's an ugly lump of flab
Lying on the mortuary slab
No one will shed a sad tear at his death.
On his face there is a smirk
As he died whilst in mid-jerk,
We're glad he's breathed his last smelly breath."

VERSE 2
The church was almost empty to mourn the convict's corpse,
As the congregation was rather sparse and thin;
"This is a sad, sad day", the parson tried to say
But he found it hard to hide his happy grin.
The widow fought back tears with a sniff that did not cloy
And, standing up, she sung out, full of joy:

"I am glad that I can say,
that my husband's passed away,
They found him on his cell floor blue and cold;
He was stretched out in the nude,
which I consider slightly rude
And he's no loss to me if truth be told."

CHORUS
"He was an ugly lump of flab
Lying on the mortuary slab
No one will shed a sad tear at his death.
On his face there was a smirk
As he died whilst in mid-jerk,
We're glad he's breathed his last smelly breath."




Poetry by Edna Sweetlove
Read 797 times
Written on 2010-08-23 at 15:54

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