The sequel to BUT NYAKO...YOU REFUSE ME


Osiepna...who said I refused you



osiepna*...who said I refused you
like Omondi...the local shopkeeper
I am just but weighing my options
on that my measuring scale
also known as my heart

wuod Okeyo* from Pap Onditi
is very much showing me attention
the other day when he was in Kasipul Kabondo
he saw me walking along the road
just imagine!
he hired a boda-boda* to drop me at dala*

he so much mesmerized me
with that his saintly deed
of hiring a boda-boda
and ever since that day
I hear ohangla* beats when I think of him

and then there is you
Rodney Shikokoti Shimechero
my handsome Shamakhokho prince
I never ever forget the day we met
at Baghdad Airport in Kisumu City

you were carrying a parcel of live chicken
destined for your aunt in Kondele
and me I had come to receive money
sent through Western Union by that my uncle
who is the cousin of the nephew of Senator Barack Obama

I remember you alighting from the Eldoret Express bus
the one that when you sit...you give them money
and then they give you a ticket
me I was from that the PostBank
the one with a Western Union facility

you were lost...and then I found you
and showed you how to get to Kondele
after you dropped off the live chicken
you proposed...
you proposed to buy me lunch...I accepted

while we were dining over lunch
of osuga*,mbuta* and ugali*
at the mabati* roofed restaurant
near Akamba Bus booking office next to Kimwa Hotel
we managed to share our hears with each other

we talked and talked
and talked and talked
and listened to the whole CD of Tony Nyadundo
we exchanged postal addresses
promised to write to each other if we could afford stamps

yawa*! how technology changes time
my father bought for me a phone with no wires
they call it a mobile phone
even you...your brother bought for you one
now we send each other letters on the phone
without having to go to the post office

one day you sent a letter through the phone
you told me that you love me
you compared me to KenGen and Mumias Sugar
at the same time...wuod Okeyo also sent me a phone letter
saying that like Safaricom me I am the better option
making his life better like Celtel
just imagine!

the both of you...Rodney and wuod Okeyo
all of you want to purchase shares in my life
your offers are both good
but yawa! I need time to think
I am yet to make a choice
osiepna*...who said I refused you

Florence Nightingale Achieng' Mak' Acholla

( osiepna- friend in the Dholuo language)

( wuod Okeyo- son of Okeyo)

( boda-boda- bicycle taxi)

( dala- home in the Dholuo language)

( ohangla-traditional luo music and dance)

( osuga-tradtional vegetable meal in the luo community)

( mbuta-a fish delicacy common and popular among the luo)

( ugali-a common meal made from maize flour.common all over Kenya)

( mabati- iron sheets)

( yawa-expressions of shock,surprise etc in dholuo)




Poetry by Mike
Read 907 times
Written on 2007-01-05 at 05:34

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matthew chilufya
Mike,your presentation of this piece of poetry is brilliant.The poem is uniquely African yet simply understood by all and sundry.
The use of vernacular and broken english really captures the emotion of the character who feels rejected by the lady.
But for a few areas,particularly th dropping of names which can throw the reader off,I feel that this is a great write and Mike you have greatness inside of you.Keep it up brother.
From Zambia with Love,
Matayo
2007-01-10



This is great! The structure is okay. The style is well followed. The plot corresponded with the thematic preoccupation. But the problem I have with this poem is that it has too many locations, which at a point in time diverted my attention. And at a point, I was thinking that I have read part of the work somewhere. Actually, I think you have to write the previous part of the poem and the subsequence because the poem cannot stand on its own.

Apart from the problem highlighted, the poem is totally African with the rhythm and half-rhyme in between the poem. The repetitions made the poem to be natural. It reminded me of the oral poetry which have spontaneous effect on the audience. This is a nice one.
2007-01-07