English style sonnet with iambic pentameter.


The Storm's Eye Has Closed (Sonnet)


Those who mistake me for watching our God
Accuse me to do without his consent
For held in this world so tight as a pod
Traditions are waning, our mindset bent

All high in the tower of western shore
I stay and observe the sad and forlorn
The changing of man, it's smoldering core
Flooding the mountains as a fearful storm

Where is the fire, birthing his small, gray smoke?
Where is his mother, the trees of the wood?
Now, I see boggy white fumes that I choke
A dentistry stands where the oak once stood

Not one single tear rises to my eye
Unfortunately, I have run quite dry




Poetry by weirdzarun
Read 622 times
Written on 2007-01-16 at 16:19

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Individuality
The changing of man, it's smoldering core - its smouldering core here as it's you are saying it is smoulder core.

my only other observation here is lack of punctuation, perhaps using commas and fullstops (periods) as you use questionmarks?
2007-04-01


Rob Graber
Aalways nice to see a true sonnet offered. Enjoyed it!
2007-01-17


night soul woman The PoetBay support member heart!
A great poem!*bookmarked* of course :) Deep thoughts. . . I realy enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!!!
2007-01-16



This is an excellent example of a contemporary sonnet on a theme we need to deal with urgently. Man's turning away from what is right and being, like your last lines so beautifully demonstrate, all dried up. It is easy to close the doors of emotion but hideously hard to reopen them in my experience. We must feel in order to empathise and take care of our world for loving generations to come.

Loved it.

Smiling at you,

Tai
2007-01-16