Sometimes not being able to express yourself can cause havoc in ones life, and can be detrimental to ones mental health...


Alone in a Crowd

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted,
One need not be a house-
The brain has corridors surpassing material space."
Emily Dickinson


Alone in a Crowd

When you are alone in a crowd,
There is no feeling worse than that.
When you are apparently quiet,
But, you desperately want to be heard.
When you want to express your self,
But you feel there is nobody to hear you.

When you are amongst your friends
But you fear no one would understand.
When you are afraid to tell your fears
Because you feel your friends would
Ridicule you, make fun of your fear,
There is no greater anguish than that.

Because you are in the desperate need
To talk, to exorcise your demons...
You're oppressed by the suppression of your feelings
You are stifled by your own fear
And stifled by the fear of going unheard...

This slowly and gradually increases,
quietly and imperceptibly seizes
you completely; till one day
Your fear becomes your obsession,
Obsession becomes your paranoia,
Paranoid, you start to hallucinate,
Your hallucinations begin to haunt you,
You hear voices in your head,
You see images, faces, dancing in front of you...

They haunt you day and night,
Till you scream out in fright...
You end up in the hospital bed
With Schizophrenia written on
your card, hanging on your bed-stead...

The feeling of being alone in the world...

So express yourself, have no doubts,
Nobody is perfect in this world,
Everybody has his doubts...


Author: Zoya Zaidi
Aligarh (UP), India
Copyright: Zoya Zaidi

Image: " The Scream" by Edward Munch





Poetry by Zoya Zaidi
Read 902 times
Written on 2007-02-27 at 04:39

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yoonoos peerbocus
loneliness raises the ques tion of who i am. alone you could be in a crowd. well debated.
2007-03-26



Very true Zoya, in all respects in life, communication is of the greatest value. Honest communication of course, that's the rub! I loved the Emity dickenson quote, it is especially relevant to all artists and where the treasures are stored of course. Expressing them from our souls certainly does us all the world of good.

Smiling at you,

Tai
2007-02-28


anna3
Yes sometimes it's not so difficult to go into the madness but hope all we here are heard at times of need and we wont finish in a hospital bed :)
Great and scaring story this time :)
Thank you for sharing dear Zoya
2007-02-27


betsy Firefly
Thought-provoking. How we who do not feel lonely should be much more sensitive to those who do.
2007-02-27


kid
Nice poem. Very Didactic and i will follow ur last three lines
2007-02-27


Individuality
yourself - one word
Because you feel you friends would - your friends
nobody - one word
i this world - in this world
everybody - one word

all emotions are to be embraced i feel, even fear, explore the moments and life will smile more.
2007-02-27


M Heathcote
When the wiring of the brain
unravels in this way
like a ball of yarn
there can be no lonelier
place on earth:
Than your own malicious-mind
teasing out its own pain
waging war upon its own self-esteem;
its own heart and soul
bother, sister, mother, father
and one-time friend and lover!

Well writ Zoya
2007-02-27


Christian Lanciai The PoetBay support member heart!
Very relevant and excellent guidance.
2007-02-27


salem
soooo beautiful one
thanx
2007-02-27



my dear Zoya, this is soooooooo true!!! solitude is sometimes a demon indeed, and one has to exorcise it...but it takes a lot of willing and struggling to get out of that state of mind...of being alone in a crowd...but worse than loneliness in a crowed is loneliness in two...when you cannot talk to the one next to you, the one supposed to understand you better than anyone else...
beautiful text, my darling sister!
Lilly xxx
2007-02-27


lastromantichero The PoetBay support member heart!
a wonderfu lpoem Zoya and so very stylish like you rgds mike
2007-02-27


Kathy Lockhart
Zoya you have penned this dissent perfectly. I felt the spiral downward into madness. This whole presentation (poem and painting) is brilliantly done.
2007-02-27


Inked.
this is me.
2007-02-27