(Will )I think you will only know what I truly mean????
and what I'm truly trying to say here.????

The Black Hole Within....

As I hang up the phone my final tie with reality is severed. Truth crushes me like a butterfly too close to the surf while hope recedes like the tidewater in its wake. The warming light is extinguished and the chill of darkness fills my veins. I sink farther into the bleak abyss of the night as I slowly drift away from myself. Strangely there is no pain in this place, no suffering, no agony, only pure unadulterated darkness. Every cell awakens, aware of every sensation as the black hole within purges away all that remains of my heart. My mind releases its stronghold on my memory. An eerie calm seizes my being as a feeling of empowerment fills my hallowed shell. Finding power in the pain I smile knowing that every injury strengthens me, feeds the darkness inside, fills my lungs with life giving air. Consciousness returns with vengeance, I am no longer weak, made strong in the still of the blackest night. Confidently I stand up to face the world, there is nothing they can do to stop me, any pain, any insult, any hardship they can throw at me will only feed the bottomless pit growing in my soul. [pause and change of emotion] But love, a love so pure, so selfless, so unconditional, that I could have never expected. Laying down one's heart and soul in hopes it will help another to find theirs. No walls can withstand that kind of attack. Ever so slowly the darkness begins to dissipate, warmth once again runs in my veins, and a love that can weather the bludgeoning of any waves has replaced the eternal night that has occupied the hallow inside for so long.

In the dark
I sit alone just with my thoughts.
Thats the way I like it.
Being by myself.
No one to judge me but me.
I listen to my inner voices.
They tell me I will be ok.
Should I listen to them.
I try to push them away.
I look in the mirror.
All I see is what I use to be.

Some days I don't even recognize me.
Where did I go.
When did I change.
How can I cope with all this pain.
Alone in the dark I sit and cry.
All I can do is wonder why.

Not Coming Back
You broke it all,
You helped me fall,
Into the dark,
And left your mark,
You did your worst,
And now im cursed,
To live this life,
Or die by the knife,
My voice,inaudible,
My thoughts,unreadable,
As I sit, fading to black,
Know this, im not coming back,

Your words are cold,
That face, you hold,
With those piercing eyes,
You manage to hold your lies,
How can you be so calm,
When all you do is harm,
Do what you want,I dont care,
You will realise im not there,
When you return from your hate-filled rage,
You're the one who locked yourself in that cage.

Hate Darkness
I hate the way I look, I hate the way I am. But most of all I hate the way you treat me. You make me feel like I am nothing to you,not even to be loved by you truly. I am closed to the world around me I don't let anyone in,nothing hurts me like your mouth. I hate my life being this way and not being my normal weight and my physical health not being normal yet. I just what to scream. My mind is blank and numb, my heart is black and cold, my world is dark and lonely. Will I ever get out of this, will I make it out alive? My world is getting darker,darkness all around me. I just see a little light, but there is one thing hat is clear. When you are away that is when I feel fear..

Poetry by TeeTee
Read 717 times
Written on 2007-06-08 at 05:11

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Alan J Ripley The PoetBay support member heart!
Wow an emotional rollercoaster of a poem
Thanks for sharing, regards Alan

Very deep, very powerful, very dark.