Free my way

Scared of the nightfall
afraid of today
strangled dreams of liberty
insanity, my way

forever in a state of mind
where hope is chance to fail
a little boy, consisting life
still he`s running away

like snow and rain
the cold of night
a flower freezing, dead
my star looks down at mother earth

and laughs at my decay

so stories told of hope and life
get`s ripped away from time
a desert house without a soul
constrains my life, my way

a strenght within a power strong
is fighting to be free
a simple mind with love to find
is fighting destiny



Poetry by Cr4Ky
Read 461 times
Written on 2006-01-17 at 18:18

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penfold18
Your poem is basically good, but the first stanza rhyme's, second and third do not , yet the fourth does with the help of the single line,then the fifth rhymes once more, the thing is, its a good poem but the flow has been broken up, spoiling it as a whole,its a good poem but needs re-drafting. :-)
2006-01-17