i thought every couplet up over the period of days but it took a while for me to get the ending plz tell me what you think

The Poem With No Title

 the day that never comes, the sun that doensnt shine

the wind that doesnt blow, the bird that doesnt sing

the girl who wont be mine, the song that doent play

the beat that has no sound, the lyrics with no words

the friend with no loyalty, the joke with no laugh

the face with no features, the man with no honour

the human with no soul, the beast with no claws

the funeral with no corpse, the birth with no baby

the rage without hate, the love without sorrow

the dog with no bark, the cat with no purr

the pen with no lid, the pencil with no graphite

the tears without water, the eyes with no sight

the razor with no blade, the heart with no blood

the suffering with out pain, the torture without screams

the bath without taps, the baby with no cry

the hell without fire, the heaven with no clouds

the web with no spider, the flower without scent

the tree without leaves, the park with no swings

the gun with no bullets, the lamp with no bulb

the sky without stars, the flame without heat

the text with no sense, the poem with no rhyme

the world with no air, the world without water

me without you, you without beauty

its the end of my world and your not there

its the end of my world and you never were

Poetry by MIK136PARKS
Read 913 times
Written on 2010-03-05 at 18:24

Tags Life  Love  Time 

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I like it a lot Mik welldone hun XD
Cnt wait till yah next instalment of poetry

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this has a title mik

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jenks The PoetBay support member heart!
i like this a lot but i think it needs some work.
first thing that struck me was the two references to babies.
perhaps just the one would have more impact.
that said the juxtapositions work well and i can only applaud your originality.
yet somehow it doesn't ring sweet yet...but i'm sure you can make it so :)
keep writing...i am enthralled to see young talent working so well.
best regards
linda x

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cohen fox
I enjoyed this, it has a good flow and left me wanting more i look forward to ur next piece