once again my brother wrote this and then i wrote a reply...we're bth just being honest and showing how we feel,its like a sense of relieve to get it off our chests.its the first time we've actually talked about this and not argued about it.
you didnt get involved,
you just stood back like a spaz,
you cauld have stopped it,
but you didnt,
its like you didnt give a shit,
i looked at you,
your face was blank,
like you didnt understand,
but i know you did,
you saw the whole thing,
it was partly because of you,
i mean if you hadnt have argued with jess...
we wouldnt have been in that mess,
mum pulled him away,
i was angry,i swung for him back,
he swung for me too,
but he hit mum,
all the while,
you still stood staring,
it would have stopped before,
if you'd have stepped in,
i defended you,
and mum got hurt,
its not like you not to intervine,
your my big sister,
you suppose to stick up for me,
not me stick up for you,
cauldnt you have just stopped it,caz?
.....my turn....
tim,what cauld i do?
i froze,all i cauld do was watch,
i cauld hear you screaming,
telling him to stop,
he hurt you,altough you deny it,
so what? mum came out worse,
shes a big girl,she can look after herself,
but your just a little boy,
give me one good reason why thats fair,
mums a big girl tim,you worry about her,
there's no need,we're there for her if she needs us,
she knows that,thats all she needs,
tell me tim,you say you dont blame him,
i ask you, why?
i dont mind that you blame me,
if i hadnt had argued with jess,
still something would have happened,
he'd been in a bad mood all day,
maybe he'd have hit me and not you,
that would be better,
atleast then you wouldnt have those nightmares,
but you'd be going through the same as me,
feeling guilt,everyday,ripping out your insides,
twisting and fucking up your mind,
but atleast then i'd know,
how you felt that day,
you pleaded mum not to leave,
she took us with her, tim,
but you still wanted her to stay with him,
but in the end you got your own way,
she went back to him,they pretend everythings okay,
but it wasnt tim,you made me swear down,
that i wouldnt tell dad,
even now he deosnt know,
but i still had to put up with you,
everytime someone touched you,
litterally, just touched you,
you would scream,
run away and cry,
you stopped letting anyone in,
i had to keep calming you down,
i dont blame you for that,
maybe that is my fault,
for not stepping in,
but once again i say,
i froze tim,i really did.
i look at him sometimes,
and i cant bear it anymore,
i want to shout that i hate him,
yet i pretend its okay,
just smile,be the perfect step daughter,
thats me,
i know tim,you handed me the laptop,
i've gone a little ott,
but this is all true,just how i feel,
this was suppose to help us explain to each other how we feel,
this is how i feel,
like it or not,i know its my fault.
Poetry by UnforgivenAngel
Read 507 times
Written on 2006-03-04 at 08:43
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our anger
im angry that you watched,caz,you didnt get involved,
you just stood back like a spaz,
you cauld have stopped it,
but you didnt,
its like you didnt give a shit,
i looked at you,
your face was blank,
like you didnt understand,
but i know you did,
you saw the whole thing,
it was partly because of you,
i mean if you hadnt have argued with jess...
we wouldnt have been in that mess,
mum pulled him away,
i was angry,i swung for him back,
he swung for me too,
but he hit mum,
all the while,
you still stood staring,
it would have stopped before,
if you'd have stepped in,
i defended you,
and mum got hurt,
its not like you not to intervine,
your my big sister,
you suppose to stick up for me,
not me stick up for you,
cauldnt you have just stopped it,caz?
.....my turn....
tim,what cauld i do?
i froze,all i cauld do was watch,
i cauld hear you screaming,
telling him to stop,
he hurt you,altough you deny it,
so what? mum came out worse,
shes a big girl,she can look after herself,
but your just a little boy,
give me one good reason why thats fair,
mums a big girl tim,you worry about her,
there's no need,we're there for her if she needs us,
she knows that,thats all she needs,
tell me tim,you say you dont blame him,
i ask you, why?
i dont mind that you blame me,
if i hadnt had argued with jess,
still something would have happened,
he'd been in a bad mood all day,
maybe he'd have hit me and not you,
that would be better,
atleast then you wouldnt have those nightmares,
but you'd be going through the same as me,
feeling guilt,everyday,ripping out your insides,
twisting and fucking up your mind,
but atleast then i'd know,
how you felt that day,
you pleaded mum not to leave,
she took us with her, tim,
but you still wanted her to stay with him,
but in the end you got your own way,
she went back to him,they pretend everythings okay,
but it wasnt tim,you made me swear down,
that i wouldnt tell dad,
even now he deosnt know,
but i still had to put up with you,
everytime someone touched you,
litterally, just touched you,
you would scream,
run away and cry,
you stopped letting anyone in,
i had to keep calming you down,
i dont blame you for that,
maybe that is my fault,
for not stepping in,
but once again i say,
i froze tim,i really did.
i look at him sometimes,
and i cant bear it anymore,
i want to shout that i hate him,
yet i pretend its okay,
just smile,be the perfect step daughter,
thats me,
i know tim,you handed me the laptop,
i've gone a little ott,
but this is all true,just how i feel,
this was suppose to help us explain to each other how we feel,
this is how i feel,
like it or not,i know its my fault.
Poetry by UnforgivenAngel
Read 507 times
Written on 2006-03-04 at 08:43
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
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liz munro |
