Layers

I let you in the only way I know how

No one ever tells you how to move on from this
not really

They speak of theories, and of what will happen, and how you'll feel
but their words seem useless
their advice empty

Why do I even have to move on from this?
Can I not just chose to be alone without it being so sad, and a testimony to giving up?
but I'd like to have a family, someone to love, someone I know

They don't tell you about the hidden roads that suddenly become the only path
I can bear
yet should never have been there
undefined places people whisper of as something "others" do

Why can't I just let myself slip into this? Why do I even fight?
I fear the thought of that cold gripping feeling of regret and tears, sitting lost in my shower, desperately trying to wash away my shame. I fear the cold that comes with having been touched by someone without love, the logical structures I will build up to be able to face myself each day, avoiding the humiliation of asking for forgiveness

Why can I not just walk away? Step away from these paths and forget about their existence?

I let you in the only way I know how
but it's only a peek

I push you gently away
yet desperately cling to this

I let you in the only way I know how
but I feel like a bitch for not giving more honestly, more openly
instead of hiding behind a mask that looks like me





Poetry by SecretWords The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 719 times
Written on 2011-10-23 at 03:00

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