A confessional reflection on fear, faith, hidden sin, and divine truth, as the speaker wrestles with belief, guidance, and inward testimony before God.
And this fear is about You, Lord.
It is a fear of mine and a fear of Your creation, and it is a fear of Your angels, Your prophets. Even if something is not accompanied by Your Abrahamic religions, I still say: give me a book by God or the truth, and I shall know the truth.
But I am not a reader, Lord, and I have not read Your books.
I have not read Your Qur’an, Torah, Bible, Buddhism, Hinduism.
I have not associated You with anything or anyone.
I have not claimed that You are among the lords mentioned by this world.
I know You, Lord, and You are different. Your words in the Qur’an are special, and Your words and chapters in Your Qur’an are greater than my words.
And You have said in the Qur’an—which I did not fully understand—but You have shown me what I have not seen. You have shown me and revealed to me the truth, Lord.
I am sitting now on my bed, writing this text, as You can see, with tears in my eyes, because I have realized that You have revealed to me what I do not see, but You have revealed to me what You already know.
And You have revealed to me that those who die with shirk in Your name, those who die as disbelievers, or those who die with corruption in their souls—their reward is Hellfire, the Jahannam—Hell in Biblical terms and global terms.
I have said to mankind—perhaps my words have not reached mankind, and perhaps I have not said this to mankind through the digital world, but to mankind as my neighbors, family members, friends, strangers in my neighborhood, city, country, and to those close to me—that Your forgiveness encompasses all sins, even shirk.
Only now do I realize that outward shirk is just outward, but what exists inside humanity’s hearts may be a shirk that I cannot hear. But it is a sin that You have revealed to me when my friend revealed to me a past sinful, criminal identity that I did not know existed.
And he told me of wrongdoings he has done that I did not think he would be the type of person to do. And I see him as harmless, but he revealed to me a past identity of his that is not revealed in the identity I see him with now.
And now I realize why You have said that those who do shirk will not be forgiven, because there are hidden identities of mankind that I do not know of, as You do.
And therefore my faith in You has strengthened yet again, and I have asked You to guide me, Lord, and I will always ask You to guide me, as You seem to reveal truths to me every day.
And I have seen mankind as righteous and good, but You have revealed to me that mankind has hidden unrighteousness. And You revealed this to me, my Lord, when my friend admitted his wrongdoings.
But certain creations of Yours among mankind, and among those closest to me—relatives, parents, family members—do not admit their inward identity. Yet I still know they are bad people because they deliberately sin, justify it, and do not admit it to be a wrongdoing.
Did I not tell You, Lord, that I witness that You are Lord?
Did I not just do a shahada inwardly?
I heard my inward do a shahada.
Poetry by Hurt
Read 26 times
Written on 2026-01-05 at 21:30
Tags Faith Fear Confession
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A Fear Before God
Dear Lord, I have a fear.And this fear is about You, Lord.
It is a fear of mine and a fear of Your creation, and it is a fear of Your angels, Your prophets. Even if something is not accompanied by Your Abrahamic religions, I still say: give me a book by God or the truth, and I shall know the truth.
But I am not a reader, Lord, and I have not read Your books.
I have not read Your Qur’an, Torah, Bible, Buddhism, Hinduism.
I have not associated You with anything or anyone.
I have not claimed that You are among the lords mentioned by this world.
I know You, Lord, and You are different. Your words in the Qur’an are special, and Your words and chapters in Your Qur’an are greater than my words.
And You have said in the Qur’an—which I did not fully understand—but You have shown me what I have not seen. You have shown me and revealed to me the truth, Lord.
I am sitting now on my bed, writing this text, as You can see, with tears in my eyes, because I have realized that You have revealed to me what I do not see, but You have revealed to me what You already know.
And You have revealed to me that those who die with shirk in Your name, those who die as disbelievers, or those who die with corruption in their souls—their reward is Hellfire, the Jahannam—Hell in Biblical terms and global terms.
I have said to mankind—perhaps my words have not reached mankind, and perhaps I have not said this to mankind through the digital world, but to mankind as my neighbors, family members, friends, strangers in my neighborhood, city, country, and to those close to me—that Your forgiveness encompasses all sins, even shirk.
Only now do I realize that outward shirk is just outward, but what exists inside humanity’s hearts may be a shirk that I cannot hear. But it is a sin that You have revealed to me when my friend revealed to me a past sinful, criminal identity that I did not know existed.
And he told me of wrongdoings he has done that I did not think he would be the type of person to do. And I see him as harmless, but he revealed to me a past identity of his that is not revealed in the identity I see him with now.
And now I realize why You have said that those who do shirk will not be forgiven, because there are hidden identities of mankind that I do not know of, as You do.
And therefore my faith in You has strengthened yet again, and I have asked You to guide me, Lord, and I will always ask You to guide me, as You seem to reveal truths to me every day.
And I have seen mankind as righteous and good, but You have revealed to me that mankind has hidden unrighteousness. And You revealed this to me, my Lord, when my friend admitted his wrongdoings.
But certain creations of Yours among mankind, and among those closest to me—relatives, parents, family members—do not admit their inward identity. Yet I still know they are bad people because they deliberately sin, justify it, and do not admit it to be a wrongdoing.
Did I not tell You, Lord, that I witness that You are Lord?
Did I not just do a shahada inwardly?
I heard my inward do a shahada.
Poetry by Hurt
Read 26 times
Written on 2026-01-05 at 21:30
Tags Faith Fear Confession
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
