I had a very hard time adjusting to calling myself a widow. Even after 9 years, it's still unpleasant.
What picture does the vey word conjure up?
A pitiful, lonely elderly lady, with wrinkles & grey hair, perhaps;
Or a grandmotherly type, sitting by the phone,
waiting for somone to call,
just to check on her---out of a sense of duty.
Maybe even a fortunate
cookie-baking Grandmother,
Whose grandchildren are the center of her life & world.
True, ther are some like that,
But there are others, too,
Who are far from any of those.
It's an exclusive club, this fraternity of sisters,
Not one that we willingly choose to join.
There are no nationality, race or social barriers;
No age requirements,
No standard height, weight, intelligence, or education.
The only common bond that we share,
Is that we've been demoted;
From loving, cherished partner,
Of anywhere from a brief time
To most of our lives,
To someone who is low on the social totem pole.
We may have young children to raise,
Or adult children, or no children at all.
The more fortunate of us have some financial security,
But most of us find our standard of living has changed dramatically.
Our old friends aren't quite comfortable with us,
And it takes time to make new ones who don't see us as half a couple,
So our social life suffers.
Whatever our ages, we don't want to be pitied, or ignored.
We want, need and expect to be treated with the same consideration and respect that we were when we were someone's "wife".
We still feel that we are.
In some ways, we're a different person
But basically, we're the same deep down.
We've had a tremendous blow to our ego,
but every day that we survive without giving in to self-pity,
We are winners!
No matter what our ages, we still have a lot to give.
Encourage us, don't pamper us, and for goodness sake,
Please don't pity us!
We've been through the fire,
and come out as strong as tempered steel.
So, the next time you meet a widow,
Instead of pitying her,
Admire her for her strengths & courage.
She's a survivor, and she still has a lot to offer,
Maybe even more than before.
Because she's been to hell and back,
And now she can do anything!
Words by Marlene
Read 853 times
Written on 2006-08-15 at 04:02
Tags Survivor
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Widow
WIDOW!What picture does the vey word conjure up?
A pitiful, lonely elderly lady, with wrinkles & grey hair, perhaps;
Or a grandmotherly type, sitting by the phone,
waiting for somone to call,
just to check on her---out of a sense of duty.
Maybe even a fortunate
cookie-baking Grandmother,
Whose grandchildren are the center of her life & world.
True, ther are some like that,
But there are others, too,
Who are far from any of those.
It's an exclusive club, this fraternity of sisters,
Not one that we willingly choose to join.
There are no nationality, race or social barriers;
No age requirements,
No standard height, weight, intelligence, or education.
The only common bond that we share,
Is that we've been demoted;
From loving, cherished partner,
Of anywhere from a brief time
To most of our lives,
To someone who is low on the social totem pole.
We may have young children to raise,
Or adult children, or no children at all.
The more fortunate of us have some financial security,
But most of us find our standard of living has changed dramatically.
Our old friends aren't quite comfortable with us,
And it takes time to make new ones who don't see us as half a couple,
So our social life suffers.
Whatever our ages, we don't want to be pitied, or ignored.
We want, need and expect to be treated with the same consideration and respect that we were when we were someone's "wife".
We still feel that we are.
In some ways, we're a different person
But basically, we're the same deep down.
We've had a tremendous blow to our ego,
but every day that we survive without giving in to self-pity,
We are winners!
No matter what our ages, we still have a lot to give.
Encourage us, don't pamper us, and for goodness sake,
Please don't pity us!
We've been through the fire,
and come out as strong as tempered steel.
So, the next time you meet a widow,
Instead of pitying her,
Admire her for her strengths & courage.
She's a survivor, and she still has a lot to offer,
Maybe even more than before.
Because she's been to hell and back,
And now she can do anything!
Words by Marlene
Read 853 times
Written on 2006-08-15 at 04:02
Tags Survivor
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
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