Internet relationships - DEBATE: For or against & Why?

DEBATE TOPIC:CAN YOU HAVE A LOND DISTANCE, INTERNET RELATIONSHIP?

Well, I think, even if face-to face you haven't "met" a
person, you can have a relationship.

My number 1 reason for this is that you form
beautiful friendships with people online, so would it
also stand to reason that you can have more then a
friendship, you can have a relationship with someone
from other country even, online?

Please let me know if you agree or disagree and why....



Thomas Perdue
well, at one time, i would have said
that it was a deffinate impossibility...
but i don't know. the people i've
gotten to know here on this site are
some of the closest friends i've ever
had. i can barely even think of the
people that i know face to face as being
real friends now. i mean, if i knew
someone face to face that i trusted as
much that would be different...

but there are certain difficulties that
would arise in a romantic relationship
online. one of the main ones is that
the purpose of such a relationship is
basically a trial marriage. these kind
of relationships are meant to lead up to
a marriage. but of course that's a BIG
commitment! dating is a way of getting
to know someone better. this can be
done online as well as in person. my
friends on this site are the closest
friends i have now. so, i've become a
bit of internet addict...

all in all, i'd say that having a
romantic relationship online is
possible. but obviously, you'd want to
meet that person at some point. that
would only be natural. if you didn't
want to meet that person, then they
obviously don't mean that much to you.
but in the case where they are in a
different country that would be
difficult... but distance cannot
prevent you from caring about someone.
i'd say it is possible. at one time, i
would have disagreed with that but i'd
have to agree with it now. love is
beyond being together. it's about a
desire to be together.

interesting debate. i'm glad you
posted this and i'm looking forward to
reading other people's comments on it.
:)

thomas

wee2souls
you can have a real good relationship
online and make bestfriends and can be
as close as family as i have met a few
who are dear to my heart and they know
who they are,,
but.. ROMANTIC my views on that
well,,,people get hurt or they believe
in the other as words can say so
much..but there is cost
when you fall in love or have a romantic
relationship..just gives false and mixed
messages..as i feel romance should be
real as in person..but there is nothing
wrong in flirting or cybersex lol!!
as long as you know you wont get
hurt!!so romantic no!! but cybersex
..yes lol..in honesty I dont believe in
romance online as i have had friends and
loved ones get hurt and i believe who
ever gets into a relationship more then
just friends online well....should have
a brain to realize they can just log
off!!
thats my opinion..romance online...hocus
pocus!yada yada yada
GET REAL!!:)

liz munro
You also have to remember, that you
don't just have to phyiscally connet
with
someone, the best plus for this debate,
I believe,
is that you connect on an interlectual
level first.

The most important points that I think
work for
an internet relationship are to
connect:

Interlectually,
Emotionally
and
Spiritually.

Even if you're of different faiths,
you can still connect with someone on
a spiritual level.

Deedee
This is a brilliant topic. I agree with
Thomas in that I have some wonderful
friends that I have met both on the
internet and then out there in the real
world. I think the time spent with
people is special because it is chosen
time, you seek out the person you wish
to 'visit' online and all
preconceptions go right out of the
window. I have often had more intense
deep discussions on the internet than in
any pub or other social gathering. My
friends have brought me much joy and
laughter and great friendship.
As to romantic relationships, yes I
think it is possible because as I said
all preconceptions disappear. But unless
one has a view to meeting the object of
ones affection and only with total
commitment and trust with both parties
will it work.

Good one!

Dee:)

Liz Munro to Thomas Perdue:

Are you for or against it?

I will be cut n paste all comments
together into 1 if that's ok.

Thomas Perdue to Liz Munro:

I'm for it. :)

LM's reply:
That's good then, but do
you think it can work if one's one one side
of the world[i.e you in the USA and me in Aus]
and one's on the other side of the world?

Thomas P's reply:

yes. i think that i could work. just so long as both take it seriously. if the two people didn't take it seriously, it would be more like a game than anything else...

but so long as both people were serious about having a relationship, i don't think any distance could possible make a difference. like i said in my comment, "it's about the desire to be together". :)

Everyone please add your weight to my debate.....

I'll cut n paste your comments/feelings into one [or more] poem[s]



Poetry by liz munro The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 504 times
Written on 2006-12-30 at 05:23

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Teala
I think there is nothing wrong with it. I think it is special to get to know someone through words, conversation, and similar interests. I also think that there is someone out there for everyone, and if they happen to meet online, so be it! The internet is an excellent way to meet friends, and for relationships.
2007-01-11


Zachary P. B.
love is a hard thing. a hard thing to work out, a hard thing to maintain, an emotion, nonetheless. a relationship, can be passionate, intimate, secret, distant, dead, alive, loving, hateful, and it can be a relationship.

i have some pros and cons, and hope you don't hate me for staying neutral on this one, liz.

first: getting to know my friends over here on the bay or on other websites, i've really had good conversations that stick out from other conversations that may be awkward to inspire in real life... and i enjoy thinking, imparting thoughts ideas beliefs, it's all inspiring to me. and i think i've maintained a lot of my friendships with these people by talking online and such, and it's worked. and also know this: a relationship can be platonic, not just romantic. that meaning that these relationships do work, friendship, platonic ones.

next: like i was saying, love is hard. it's complex, and hard to maintain in a "romantic relationship." however, it's not impossible. i would say being able to connect over the internet is a good thing to stay in touch, but a complete connection over the internet just seems really difficult. but man seemed to find a way to fly, so i'm sure man can find a way to make relationships work over the net. just a question though, how do you know any of it's real? you don't, and that's scary.. trust is major in a relationship, and if you can hardly trust them, well it's not real.

that's my piece. thank thomas for telling me about this, and thanks for the excellent debate topic.

z.
2007-01-05


betsy Firefly
Online friendships are fine , like being penpals used to be when I was growing up. I had, amongst others, an Italian penpal whom I met three years into the quite warm friendship. After that we, we simply remained friends, corresponded and met again twice after. He and his wife called my husband and me at Christmas - over 40 years later!

Dating that way, and especially online, can be very tricky, tho'. Chat and then meet if you have the opportunity. Stay friends, at least. ;-)
2007-01-02


Mitzi
I'm all for it! I dated over the internet planty times! im 12 yrs old almost 13 and i had "boyfriends" ages 12-17 and they all worked out...i did get to met one of them in person...but only once....every single relationships over the interenet went from 2 months to 6 months......so they did work! but i did get very heart broken! 4 of them cheated on me! i had 10 bfs over the internet...i did get to see them on web cam (nuttin bad...thank god! lol) but dating over the internet is not a bad thing!
2007-01-01


kath
this is a great subject for this site ... thank you Liz

Yes I belive relationsships of any kind can form on the internet in the same way letterwriting did when computers were not even thought of. Romantic, friendly or what ever, distance is not a problem for humans in that we have the excellent tool of words.

As to getting hurt in love that happens wheter it is on the internet or elswhere...

But as the world is a huge place and the internet a waste space to make friends in I belive you have to be very careful ... not everyone is a trustworthy person and as a community like the poetbay is open for every one but still has the cloesness of a circle of friends it is easy to forget that we are not there together in real life and have no real referrence to who people say they are. The same of course goes for letter writing ...

Anyways to sum up ... I belive relationsships forming on the internet are possible and a distance between people can be good ..you have time getting to know the other and find out what you feel be it a friendly or romantic relationship forming..... and hey what a lovely space of words we have here...

I would like to recomend a book that is about friendship by letter writing that start with an American author writing to an English bookstore dealing with antique books and as she becomes a regular customer a relationship takes form between the manager and herself ...and they correspond for years and years never ever meeting. It is a wonderful book "84 Charring Cross Road" by Helen Hanff (the woman writing from America). here is a link to some info on the book.http://www.londonbooks.co.uk/shop/product.php/526/0/

Thank you Liz for giving this subject space
rgds Kath
2006-12-30


-Angela
is this so like me? to just drop in and leave my opinion after going missing for ages? ;) (yeah)

anyway, i just couldn't help myself as i've given this subject much thought and had a lot of mixed feelings over it. the conclusion i've finally come to is that it depends on the people involved. for some, no it wouldn't be possible, but for others it might be their opportunity to fall in love with another soul- to truly get to know someone on the deepest level. yes, there can be problems such as the physical aspect of things (among others that come with any relationship), but if it is formed in honesty and trust, and if love is truly present, then that is just an obstacle that the people involved will have to face together.

for or against? i'll say 'for', but only with a careful mind and heart, for yes, the 'getting real' can beat the crap out of us dreamers sometimes...
2006-12-30