Small deliberation on a realization I made today...

Chaos begets Beauty

My life is hard...!

At night I strangle my pillow,
in the sheer despair.
The tears flow onto my bed sheets,
trickling like midnight dew.

The next day, as I rise from my hazy sleep,
I stand there by the window, I simply weep.

Through the unclear vision,
from sore eyes that had no peace,
I notice the sheets are covered,
in blotches of tears and colored ink.

I feel asleep hugging my pillow tight,
Yet my slumber only lasted half the night.

I kept thinking, when did I do this?
But the only item reminiscent of the past eve,
was the colorful sheet drenched in my tears.

I look for a place to sit,
my mind I bend and twist,
then I find a fumbled up piece of paper,
under the pillow and the sheets.

And the night reveals itself as if a vision.

Before I cried I wrote him a letter,
before the letter, there was his voice in my head,
and yet before that there was some other kind of misery,
which eventually led to this painting on the sheet.

Chaos, you see, the imperfections,
of my life all crinkly and unclean,
The misery brought on by sad emotions,
shook my being into the seen.

They sparked a set of motions,
and moved my energy to flee,
my veins pumped in fierce emotion,
bringing to me lively glow.

I wrote to fill the empty, the dark and the unknown,
I wrote to the deficient, I wrote because it was all wrong.

Auterkeia Nihil

March 2007

Poetry by Autie
Read 1323 times
Written on 2007-03-25 at 05:35

Tags Creativity  Misery  Chaos 

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yoonoos peerbocus
yes we are a product of unanalysable emotion and thoughts, but you tried to do it marvellously
2007-03-26 Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
it is well-written (stating the obvious), emotive, and touching... lots of emotions come through this... excellent the way you tell about it... writing, it's our emotions and thoughts... can we really part with all that? nah... :) i really enjoyed this one as well... i was in a moment i could recognize... i like the effect of your words... felt them like a dazy, light confusion before realization that awake is our present state... the thoughts rolling, and remembering the loss (i'm thinking loss, my interpretation)... and the words unconsciously put on paper about it all was the way to liberate the moment, free the mind from the whirlwind, type of deal... all of course, my interpretations :) i truly enjoy your style of writing... thanks for sharing... :f *hugs* xx

You wrote because it is what we poets do to survive the pain of opening our hearts in the first, second and all the other places thereafter. Another excellent read, thank you for sharing it with us, some of us are a bit slow to come out, smiling at you, scaredy cat, Tai

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5