So much emotions...

So much emotions, so little me
And it keeps multiplying constantly
Caught up in the struggle of thinking or breathing
As I stand naked, defenseless, without any sheathing
See me, see through me, see all that I am
Every mountain I climbed, every ocean I swam
See me, see all that I could never be
Is that the reason why..... possibly
Tell me what's missing, won't stop till I find it
Tho I can see nothing, I'm already blinded
If I could, I'd take the hands of this clock and rewind it
To a time when things were the same but I didn't mind it

So much emotions, so little me
So much still doesn't make sense, you see
I mean, how can you... *sigh* I'll never understand
I keep forgetting that you're still just a man
There I go again, so young, dumb and naive
I've lost the me I was before, for my strength I grieve
You've reduced me, seduced me to that unschooled little girl
Wrapped around your finger, as around you I build my world
Too many emotions, so much trouble to sleep
I just close my eyes, sweet release
Pouring, cascading down the side of my cheeks
Forgot how much a good cry really heals

So much emotions, so little me
What I felt when I started writing this times three
Loosing what little control I had left
Feeling it deep, my soul's bereft
The more I get, the more I want, will I ever be content?
Gosh, it's all welling up, this is the only way I can vent
There's no way I can tell you what I'm feeling inside
Even If I find the words, God damned my pride
Since its so obvious this is what you prefer
Regardless of all that's already occurred
How can I look at you and utter those words?
That'll happen when you start seeing purple birds

So much emotions, so little me
Poor, helpless, brittle me
Use your power, belittle me
Take what you want, whittle me
Don't handle with caution, its okay if you break it
Been there before, and somehow I'll make it
My love is not a weakness, please don't mistake it
It's pure, It's real, there's no way I could fake it
You know that I'm yours, you say that you're mine
Really, my friend, all I need is some time
To build myself back up, build myself back tough
And I'll return to a time when that was enough

Poetry by April S
Read 905 times
Written on 2009-08-18 at 07:05

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Phyllis J. Rhodes
An extroidinary ride through an emotional forrest. As you pointed out all the "trees" of sorrow, confusion and pain, I could feel every one. I hope your future includes an appreciation for your own possibilities of success and a joyous life without one who would consume you.

Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
From the core; thank you for sharing the pure expression.

The beat, flow and rhyme of this is great although I hope the situation is fictitious.
Thank you April,