For Mark Grist.

Something of a homage/pastiche piece. A departure from my norm but I thought I'd give it a go.

A bloke who reads

"So what do you go for in a bloke?" she crows, lifting a lager to her lips,
Gestures where her mate sits, downs her glass.
"She prefers dicks, I prefer arse.
So what do you go for in a bloke?"

I am good to go on this one,
The air in the room swells my lungs -
this is my metier,
I am gung...ho

"Well, if you must know:

I want a bloke who reads.
Yeah, reads.
Now, I won't accuse you of misandry, cos
I know we're diffrerent, you 'n' me
But I want a bloke who reads

Who sees seeds in words
Whose fertile mind turns like worms
and nourishes me
with the fruits of that
literary tree
I want a bloke who reads.

I want a bloke who hunts out books
from obscure nooks and
gathers passages
sage and old
who plies me with literature's gold.
I want a bloke who reads.
To me.

A bloke who takes time to teach me
Each perfect phrase in Shakespeare's poetry.
One whose rapacious appetite outweighs my own,
Who cuts me to the veritable bone,
Who soothes me with lyrical balm
When he's done verbal harm to me.
I want a bloke who reads.

A bloke who gets assonance, is never assinine
is a friend of mine.
The one who gets to remove my clothes
will be able to repeat in droves
the complex rules of English grammar
without so much as a flinch or stammer.
He'll whisper sweet somethings he's gleaned
whilst we're between the sheets
and then read to me 'til I sleep.

Yes, I want a bloke who reads
Who's unafraid to s-t-r-e-t-c-h
mine and his own intellect.
Whose verbosity's quite hot, you see, I'll be his Lady Chatterly.
His silver tongue and gorgeous looks
have me moister than D.H. Lawrence books
I'll be her and he'll be Mellors
So I'm sorry to all the other fellas
Cos I've got a bloke who reads.

We'll talk about Dawkins,
play games with Gaiman quotes,
Name our top ten desert island tomes,
make Chaucerian jokes.
And when Morpheus comes, drift off in his arms
as he quietly continues to read.

See, some girls prefer arses, some prefer dicks
And I'm not saying I don't like those bits
But what's more important,
What supercedes
For me
Is a bloke who is garrulous, clever and sweet,
So I want a bloke who reads."

Poetry by la tristesse
Read 933 times
Written on 2012-02-04 at 13:03

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Rob Graber
You flirt here wonderfully well with form (not to mention with us literary--or at least more than merely literate--men) !


A really great write
so well put together
I loved the wording, so different
If this is a departure from your norm
keep going there


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
I knows a bloke who reads,
Even writes ,
His words are his own ,
Knows Shakespeare ,
Chaucer to ,
And many others ,
Enjoys reading out loud ,
Trouble is those in his environment live ,
Consider him to be strange rather gay ,
Witch he happens not to be so inclined ,
And his face looks like the rear end of a London bus ,
as skinny as a rake
Ken D Williams

As a poem, this is wonderful, an absolute joy to read. Command of language is great in itself, having something to say as well is a bonus. Saying it with wit, that's icing on the cake.

You aren't asking for much, are you? A bloke who reads. Well . . . I know a few, but I wonder when it gets down to it . . .

Is your name Roxane, by chance?

Great poem! I loved it. I'm going to put this in a special folder for poems that remind me of what writing can be, should be. You'll be in good company.