IdealI know what you want, a girl who is cool,
One who can explain the whole offside rule.
Who'll talk cars just like you do,
Who's got what it takes,
She'll strip down your engine and re-shoe your brakes.
She'll lift up the bog seat when she's been to the loo,
And watch documentaries about World War Two.
She'll consider a blow job a gift of a task
Even offer to do it - you won't have to ask.
She'll love cleaning the house in just lingerie and heels
And never complain when you cop a feel.
She wont criticise you,
She'll slave in the kitchen,
She'll praise your worst efforts
No nagging or bitching.
She encourages hobbies like pornos and drinking
And never expects to know what you're thinking.
She loves having your mates over
Til gone four a.m.
But categorically never shags any of them.
She takes care of you and your wallet,
She won't make you poor
And she'll hand you a martini as you walk through the front door.
She won't mention babies,
Thinks your DIY's great.
She'll proof read your work and correct your mistakes.
She'll be a whore in the bedroom
And when she's desisted
It'll be like the Female Eunuch never existed.
Poetry by la tristesse
Read 803 times
Written on 2012-06-24 at 16:09
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