~

it seems the road diverges three ways.

i stand as timid as little red riding hood

at the juncture. go left on the road called faith,

go straight ahead on the road called self,

or take the road to the right, which is called seek.

to rely on one's self seems a sign of strength.

experience has shown, though, that self

is fully capable of disintegrating in the face of travail,

and one cries out, in faith, for help.

yet, faith often lets one down in hopelessness

and despair. self and faith play off each other,

rising and falling like tides, but unpredictably.

both seem useless when most needed.

seeking is nothing but looking at the world

inwardly and outwardly, and learning from it.

it is an act not of self, but self-improvement.

it isn't passive, it doesn't rely on faith, it is

knowledge and experience based, which seems

a good thing. those of self and those of faith

seem to have a great need to convince themselves,

and others, that self or faith is the ticket.

but those who seek can be self-righteous pricks,

touting their path cum yoga mat cum incense sticks.

i guess there is a fourth road, the one called fuck it.

i'm not there yet. i'm searching. for now, i'm chilly

and my red cloak is pulled tightly around me.

granny's house lays up the road, but which road,

and on which road is the big bad wolf, or is he

little schrödinger's cat, on all four roads?

fuck it, i'm going home. i'll email granny and send her

some flowers via 1-800-flowers. i have work to do

and the baseball playoffs are starting, and my dad

and i have a date to watch them together, via skype.

the wolf can nibble on someone else, those on the road

of self or faith or seeking. granny is busy anyway,

she's seeing a codger with a mercedes. she doesn't

need me cramping her style. i'll see her one of these days.

i'll take colin with me. he's gentle, but he has a rifle.

~