The Pain In My Heart

I lay in bed and canít sleep at night
My heart and mind are having a fight
A fight over if I should again feel love
Lately pain is all I feel and think of

I want to wipe away all my tears
And put aside all my fears
I donít want to let my guard down
So on my face I wear the biggest frown

It feels so good when I laugh and smile
But that only last a little while
Then my mind tells me it needs to end
Because my heart still needs to mend

It has been years since this pain began
Itís time I work on a new plan
I need to feel whole again
The only question I have is ďWHEN?Ē

My heart is in pieces and my mind wonít quit
I believe I deserve this... every last bit
My pain is self inflicted
Sometimes I wonder if Iím addicted

Addicted to the reasons I cry
Crying is how I have gotten by
No one has been strong enough to stay by my side
Sooner or later everyone will run and hide

Leaving me alone again like I always am
Wishing just to find one man
Who will be by my side when I need him most
Finding this once I did come close

I drove him away within just a short time
Which proved to me he was never mine
Now I donít know if I am coming or going
But down my face my tears keep flowing

Some days my pain is more than I can bear
Some days I donít even care
I want to feel my fatherís arms around me
And for him to help me set my heart free

Just like he used to do when I was a small
And all the times he picked me up when I would fall
All the talks we had of the good and bad
He always cheered me up when I was sad

He left me alone in this ugly world
And I forgot how to be his little girl
I am not who I was when he was here
Because I have forgotten how to care

Yes I still care for others but just not for me
Because my heart whiltered when I had to see
He was laying there lifeless and cold
My legs below me began to fold

A piece of me died on that day
Wishing there was a way for him to stay
I hate the path I have chosen to go
But itís time for me to let him know

I am ready to feel love like his
Because it is what I miss
Send someone to me if you havenít yet
So I can finally let my heart and mind rest.

Poetry by Shannon Ann Britto
Read 294 times
Written on 2020-08-16 at 02:27

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Some of the lines of this poem are quite poignant and moving, especially those where you mention your father.

Wishing you peace and light, strength and consolation.