Save me from myself


Split Dimensions

Within me lies two sides if you will
One that makes the scene
The other keeps itself concealed
Beneath a barrier I've rarely revealed

If on the outside I am nice
You don't have to tell me to think twice
This emotion is very rare indeed
A facade used to easily mislead

On the inside lies a force
That constantly takes over
Throws me off my course

I wish to subdue
This demon conceived
And within find peace
If you only knew........





Poetry by Coolaaron88
Read 718 times
Written on 2006-11-18 at 17:00

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tony legba
The poem has a Blakean simplicity to it. I quite like the theme, the struggle between mask and self. For me, if rhyme is being used, then some sort of disciplined structure is required. Blake would argue that the demon should not be "subdued" because life is the tension between in and out, good and evil. The result of submission isn't peace, but death. You have tried to condense a lot into a short poem, which is to be admired.

Language: 3
Format: 3
Mood: 3
Overall: 3
2006-11-22


David Hazell
Phew!. Now this I identify with. Maybe we all do.

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2006-11-18


stevelee
Fed mine cold turkey some 27 years ago. But who's counting ? Got rid of the bastard though. Never looked back. (much).Enjoy your youth, you are only here once, and remember . at the start of every demon there is a fork in the road. It's up to you to choose whether to hold his hand , or fuck him of up the road on his own, and take the other path. The world according to Steve. Final quotation number 1
2006-11-18