the pain is raw . . . . . . . scars pain more than the wounds ! ! !

*~_i love my room_~*


.....i am alone
away from a lively life,
I don't go for a dancing pool,
I don't have a ball night,
I be in my room.
no one come to hug my ugliness there,
no oe loves me,
not even a care for me they spare,
away from all anxeity,
I be in my room.

my room has seen me lone,
it accompanies my sorrow.
the bed in my room,
has seen the hitting of red rods on my back.
my pillow has swallowed my tears since long,
the broken mirror has seen the pain in my eyes.

my room is all mess,
only a small place to walk for me,
'coz nobody comes here,
its a closed room only for me and my sorrows.

my room's wall has felt the pain
of my head banging on it.
and the broken chair has come across many terrible conditions,
when my irate throws it.

the floor has felt my fall on it,
and unlike others it doesn't find me a burden or a bad omen.
the dressing table dies for my touch,
for since long it has been alone,
same like me.

the lamp on my table is scared of my anger,
for i would throw it someday.
and the bed sheets dont want to be changed,
'coz it loves my blood drenched in it.

the dusty ceiling fan has heard,
the echoes of my scream and my shouts.
the blinking tubelight has seen the darkness of my heart,
the phone has heard my breathe calling for death.
and my blanket has felt my discomfort.

.....they all love me so much.
the only place i get peace,
the only place i can call mine
its my room,
:(( *~._I LOVE MY ROOM_.~* )):


Poetry by zeeshan
Read 909 times
Written on 2006-12-20 at 10:20

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betsy Firefly
Altho' many teenagers go thru' these same emotioms - where your room hover it knows you to a 'T', it never condemns you, but hides you from the crowd. You really express these emotions well.

There comes a time, however, where one must venture out of that room. Usually, it isn't half as bad as one thought!

It is always something special to be comfortable where you are at ( I loved my room at my parent's house..I even took pictures so I could always remember it). Though sometimes, I took solice in it, and left myself out of "the real world"..sometimes retreating there instead of facing my problems. My advice is, don't let this happen to you! This is an excellent write, full of raw sort of reminds me of my poem about what a mirror has seen..your room has seen you angry, sad, happy, etc. Great job!

tony legba
An interesting range of vocabulary for someone so young, if this is you telling someone else's life story; and that last bit is not intended as an insult. I simply mean that your language is ambitious. (I wonder what response you will get to this, since you openly ask for comments to help you write, but rarely receive more than the equivalent of a happy face stuck on a child's piece of school work. No wonder that the art of poetry has collapsed so much when the art of criticism and teaching is so poor). The directness of imagery is the strength of this poem. The improvement would depend on...